Those 6 minutes felt like the longest of my life.
Trying to keep the panic at bay.
Thinking I'm going to vomit.
Other mothers and teachers helping to look also, asking any parent with a little boy in a red jacket if he was supposed to be with them.
Images of Madeleine McCann zipping through my mind.
Beni is so friendly and trusting with everyone, he would quite happily wander off with a stranger if given an opportunity to do so.
I eventually found him playing in a toy telephone box, completely oblivious to the drama he had caused and his mother's stress levels. He must have gone past me and I didn't see him when I was having stern words to Luca before he went into his classroom for running off ahead without me.
I'm discovering that, to be a mother, you need to have 20 arms, eyes in the back of your head and at least 3 laps.
These are scenes from our house at 4:30pm today:
Two children screaming and fighting over my lap while I was trying to feed Max who also was crying because he was hungry and flailing his arms which knocked his bowl of food out of my hand and splattered everywhere. It was awesome.
Once he was fed Max spent his time looking dumbfounded and wondering what the hell was going on and why everyone was screaming and crying.
I wasn't screaming and crying though. Surprisingly.
I was laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.
Oh yeah, and effing and jeffing and dropping the odd f-bomb. Only some of them in my head...
It was either that or lock myself in my bedroom and hide under the bedcovers until Austin got home.
Tempting it was!
But then Pingu came to the rescue...
and I was given a moments reprieve, long enough to pour myself one of these.
Oh how I love thee my sweet, red, Italian friend.
Now the boys are sleeping soundly in their beds and I am grateful they are all safely tucked up and close by.
Never again do I want to experience the feeling of losing a child. Is this realistic? I really would like to avoid this if possible.
On that note I'm going to go snuggle in bed with my handsome husband now and pray for a bigger capacity and a better and safer day tomorrow.
I think we'll get some more of that wine too, to have on hand.
Just incase it's needed again to soothe frazzled nerves.