Friday, 22 January 2010

The reality of having children...

WARNING: following is a story about poo.  If you are thinking of having children or have a poo-phobia, turn back now...

Sometimes I wonder why God created bowel movements to be so insulting to the senses. I mean, really. Is the smell factor really necessary?? Especially when you are a parent and have to 'deal' with your children's BM's on a regular basis.  It's just not right!!

As I mentioned in my last post, we have been dealing with a nasty stomach bug for the past wee while - Luca has had diarrhea and vomiting and my husband and I have been afflicted also. Not nice. Not nice at all.

On Monday morning my husband walked into Luca's room to get him out of bed and was greeted with Luca and his surroundings covered in poo!... He had filled his naps which then overflowed (thanks to the ol' tummy bug) and for some reason, which is totally beyond me, he decided to put his hands in it and rub it all over his sheets, pillow, blankets, cheeks and eyebrows....

I actually felt quite sorry for him because his tummy was sore and the poor wee boy was obviously 'caught out' by an explosive poo - and hey, what a great opportunity to 'discover' the product of a natural bodily function!?!... Hmmm.

The past couple of days his bowel movements have been of a good consistency and he is now eating properly again. Phew! I'm pleased because he has lost a bit of weight and no longer has his chubby baby fat anymore :-(

Anyway, this morning we went into town to the Toy Shop to spend the £10 he was given as a Christmas gift from the lovely elderly lady next door. He chose a very cool truck that can carry cars on it's trailers - very cool!
So when it came time for Luca's afternoon nap he was obviously still wanting to play with his new truck and "fast-cars" so there was a bit of a fuss putting him to bed. I was feeding Beni in our room and could hear his complaints slowly die down. "Excellent" I thought, "I can have a nana nap once Beni falls off to sleep".

All was quiet in Luca's room, Beni was fed and in his bed so I popped my head into Luca's room to make sure he was ok and was greeted with the smell of poos. "Have you done poos?" I said. "Yes" said the wee cherub as he held out his hand to me.

And it was then that I realised why the smell was so overwhelming. For he had in his hand a turd which he had just fished out of his nappies and before I could do anything he slapped and smeared it onto the railing of his cot. I then saw that scattered throughout his bed were lumps of poo - all over the clean bedding that I had painstakingly hand-washed 4 days earlier and took 2 days to dry out!...

Needless to say I was not a happy Mamma!

There was anger and I wasn't going to get my nana-nap that I was so much looking forward to!

I definitely did not pass the test on this occasion on How To Remain Calm When Your Toddler Has Rubbed Poo Everywhere.

It was a scenario of not knowing what to do first or where to put my hands (although they would have fitted nicely on his backside but not only are we choosing not to smack our children but his bottom was also the source of the mess).

I managed to get him into the shower while turning his ear red with the verbal scolding I was giving him and literally hosed him down, then left him to shiver in the bathtub (poor wee guy) while I dealt with the mess in his room and got him some clean clothes. He then went down for his nap without another peep. He obviously knew he had stretched his Mamma a little too far in this instance!

I ended up having to bake a cake to get rid of the poo smell in the house. The butter & sugar were creamed together like never before! Quite theraputic actually. Have noted this for future reference.

And so that concludes the Story of Poo (for today...)

I wonder if God created poo like he did just so he could have a bit of a chuckle while I dealt (badly) with this situation! Well, one day I'm sure I, too, will be able to look back and laugh but right now I have to get onto handwashing (once again) all of Luca's bedding.

NOTE TO SELF: always buy children's bedding that is machine washable!


  1. Oh my goodness Brigitte - all you can do is laugh really :o)!!!!!
    Either that or cry ... or maybe both ...

  2. Oh dear, I'm crying and giggling along with you on this one. The Bug thinks playing with poo is fun too. Must be the age? Either way, here's to these tots getting over this fascination quickly!

  3. Ahhh. Yep. Stu and I were laughing out loud at this one. Naughty. But very funny (cos we're on the other side of the world and so can afford to laugh cos we don't have to clean it up) .... my gorgeous Luca sounds like he's been a bit of a 'wee jobbie' lately eh (... heh heh, see what I did there?!) .. T xx


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