Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Let Me Absorb

Let me absorb this time, here and now
Each moment, each day, something new
Something funny, something sad
Allow me to take each one and absorb it
Remember it, lock it away in my memory
No more regretting, wishing for times gone and now out of reach
I am here, now. Absorb it, love it
Cherish it, nurture it
This time can not be given back
These ones I hold on to so tightly
Precious, perfect, pieces of me
With loving them so deeply comes both pain and joy
Frustrations and victories
Beauty and happiness higher than the stars
With Mothering them comes satisfaction beyond what I ever have thought possible
An unspoken, unrecognised desire and dream
Though surprising, it makes perfect sense
Being a Wife and Mamma is where I feel complete
This role I have been given I cannot take for granted
Such unexpected blessings cannot come and go without rocking my world
Changing my world
Moving, rearranging, rekindling, refurbishing
And now I feel 'done over'
I cannot, will not go back
Right here, right now, just Let Me Absorb
In this stillness let me soak up the goodness
My heart, overflow your walls with gratefulness
Thankfulness to the God from whom these precious blessings have been given
I am grateful
So very grateful

Today I am reminded of what a privelege and honour it is to be a Mamma.

I have two beautiful healthy boys who love life.

Even though I am sometimes driven to exhaustion, I wouldn't trade each day I have with them for all the money that could be offered. What an incredible, yet difficult role it is to be a Stay At Home Mamma. To be entrusted with these two little lives, so vulnerable, so trusting. The responsibility is almost overwhelming.

As Luca woke up from his afternoon sleep, I carried his hot, sleepy little body into our room where I lay him on the bed beside his brother who was having some tummy and gurgling time. Luca snuggled up to the pillows and promptly feel asleep again while I stroked his hair. It was right at that moment that I thought my heart would burst from an overwhelming gratitude for being their Mamma. All was quiet except for Luca's breathy sighs as he slept and the thump-thump-thump of Beni's foot tapping on the bed as he gummed my makeup bag... which still needs to be unpacked from our 4 days in France last week (post still to be completed on that adventure!...)

Two such very special little guys we have. I love it when they are all sleepy and cuddly. The dishes/washing/cooking/cleaning can always wait when there's sleepy cuddles on offer!

We spent the latter part of the afternoon making muffins out of very over-ripe bananas and strawberries. Me in my nana's lace-trimmed yellow apron, Luca in "his" gingham apron (used to be mine until he claimed it...) and Beni sitting in the highchair watching us bake while sucking a giraffe toy. As you do.

And to top it all off Luca asked from his bed this evening if he could "do wee's please?".
Mamma and Papa were doing super-high high fives to each other for this landmark occasion which - to you - may seem like a baby-step, but for us who are sick of cleaning up the puddles and doing the loads of washing this is a major achievement, a leap forward. Hoorah!

A chocolate-icing end to a sweet-as-banana-strawberry-and-chocolate-muffin day.

P.S. thought I'd share this picture Luca asked me to draw today of our family. For your amusement...


  1. You write so beautifully and have such a beautiful family!!

    Yay for going wees in the right place too!!

  2. Awesome post :) The photo of Luca eating the strawberry reminds me SO much of how he looked when he so carefully and thoughtfully ate his first wee cupcake at the Broadway Market ... !

    Great drawing too :) What a happy-looking family (with slightly wild-eyed stares ...) xx


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