It's all worth it in the end, right?

Motherhood.
Parenting.
Stay at Home Mamma.
It's been hard going.

I knew it would be hard.
I knew I would have to give up my selfish ways (darnnit).

I was hoping my house wouldn't look like a bombsite every day.
I was hoping to maybe be able to have sleep-ins every now and again.
I was hoping my bossoms might keep some of their youthful perkiness, even after breastfeeding 2 children...

Darn those expectations.
Darn them all to heck!

My place is a mess.
I'm seriously sleep-deprived.
My B-rests are definitely not youthful nor perky...

But my babies are currently napping at the same time this afternoon. Now that's a miracle in itself right there!

Earlier this week I spent the morning assembling Luca's new bunk beds that we got him for his birthday. Being the great mother that I am I bribed him with snacks and chidren's TV in order to keep him out of the room for the THREE HOURS it took me to make up the bunks.
But I did it.
All by myself.
I am Strong Woman.

He was very excited to see his new bunks with the Lightning McQueen duvet set, but of course he wanted to sleep on the top bunk but I said no and he said yes and I said no again and he said yes again. It all ended in tears but eventually he went to sleep on the bottom bunk.
I won.
That time.
And to cut a long story short he is now sleeping on the top bunk.

Beni, on the other hand, is happy wherever he is. He's just happy happy and thinks his brother is the coolest thing this side of the womb.

The other great thing about getting new stuff is the packaging! And with the delivery of the bunk beds came a rather large and long cardboard box which rapidly became a pirateship-come-carpark-building.

It also feels nice to sink your teeth into the cardboard.

My husband and I are very much not enjoying and so totally over playing battle-of-the-wills with our nearly 3-year old son.
It makes us feel incredibly frustrated.
It makes us feel like terrible parents because we seem to have an impossibly disobedient son.
Oh I know all about how he's going through a "stage" and is testing the boundaries etc etc. But DEAR GOD HELP!!
Please God, PLEASE when he turns 3 can he instantly move from the 'Terrible Two' category and be transformed into a well-behaved boy who listens to his parents and does as he is asked? We also need this to happen because he is absolutely doing our head in! Thanks.

My mum says to focus on the positive and ignore the negative...
What is there to be positive about when I find him in his room driving his cars through a pile of his own poo on the rug?
I'm pretty sure that is classed as a 'negative' but how can I ignore that?!?!

And to top it all off (I might as well just get it all out there) I'm a wreck.
I mean, just look at me!

I can't blame anything except for the hair-loss on the children but hey, I'm just needing a bit of sympathy ok?
Bells Palsy was a few years prior to having children but the residual effects are more obvious when I get tired and run-down. Dang blast it!
Ok actually I will blame the red-eye on the children because the infection is probably because of a poo particle... Not my own. Ooooooo I can hear your mind ticking back to the 'poo in the forest' episode when the deer jumped out at me but I assure you this is not because of that!

I have to admit that being a mother is the hardest job I have ever undertaken. And I have to admit there are days when I wonder why on God's good earth did I ever decide to have children. But I'm guessing (hoping!) I am not alone in this?

But you know what? When Luca comes up to me and randomly gives me a kiss or a hug, or like the other night when I had a dress on and he said "You look pretty in that dress mamma", or when he wakes up in the night and calls out for me and snuggles up in bed beside me with his face right next to mine...well. All the battles and frustrations just fly out the window and all that is left is a massive massive great canyon-worth amount of love for my Luca and my Beni - my beautiful boys.

I'm doing my best, trying my hardest to be the best mamma I can be.
I totally need God's help and strength in this but I know I've become a better, stronger, bigger person all because of these little people who I have so totally and completely fallen in love with.

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about ~Angela Schwindt