Thursday, 5 August 2010

It's all worth it in the end, right?

Stay at Home Mamma.
It's been hard going.

I knew it would be hard.
I knew I would have to give up my selfish ways (darnnit).

I was hoping my house wouldn't look like a bombsite every day.
I was hoping to maybe be able to have sleep-ins every now and again.
I was hoping my bossoms might keep some of their youthful perkiness, even after breastfeeding 2 children...

Darn those expectations.
Darn them all to heck!

My place is a mess.
I'm seriously sleep-deprived.
My B-rests are definitely not youthful nor perky...

But my babies are currently napping at the same time this afternoon. Now that's a miracle in itself right there!

Earlier this week I spent the morning assembling Luca's new bunk beds that we got him for his birthday. Being the great mother that I am I bribed him with snacks and chidren's TV in order to keep him out of the room for the THREE HOURS it took me to make up the bunks.
But I did it.
All by myself.
I am Strong Woman.

He was very excited to see his new bunks with the Lightning McQueen duvet set, but of course he wanted to sleep on the top bunk but I said no and he said yes and I said no again and he said yes again. It all ended in tears but eventually he went to sleep on the bottom bunk.
I won.
That time.
And to cut a long story short he is now sleeping on the top bunk.

Beni, on the other hand, is happy wherever he is. He's just happy happy and thinks his brother is the coolest thing this side of the womb.

The other great thing about getting new stuff is the packaging! And with the delivery of the bunk beds came a rather large and long cardboard box which rapidly became a pirateship-come-carpark-building.

It also feels nice to sink your teeth into the cardboard.

My husband and I are very much not enjoying and so totally over playing battle-of-the-wills with our nearly 3-year old son.
It makes us feel incredibly frustrated.
It makes us feel like terrible parents because we seem to have an impossibly disobedient son.
Oh I know all about how he's going through a "stage" and is testing the boundaries etc etc. But DEAR GOD HELP!!
Please God, PLEASE when he turns 3 can he instantly move from the 'Terrible Two' category and be transformed into a well-behaved boy who listens to his parents and does as he is asked? We also need this to happen because he is absolutely doing our head in! Thanks.

My mum says to focus on the positive and ignore the negative...
What is there to be positive about when I find him in his room driving his cars through a pile of his own poo on the rug?
I'm pretty sure that is classed as a 'negative' but how can I ignore that?!?!

And to top it all off (I might as well just get it all out there) I'm a wreck.
I mean, just look at me!

I can't blame anything except for the hair-loss on the children but hey, I'm just needing a bit of sympathy ok?
Bells Palsy was a few years prior to having children but the residual effects are more obvious when I get tired and run-down. Dang blast it!
Ok actually I will blame the red-eye on the children because the infection is probably because of a poo particle... Not my own. Ooooooo I can hear your mind ticking back to the 'poo in the forest' episode when the deer jumped out at me but I assure you this is not because of that!

I have to admit that being a mother is the hardest job I have ever undertaken. And I have to admit there are days when I wonder why on God's good earth did I ever decide to have children. But I'm guessing (hoping!) I am not alone in this?

But you know what? When Luca comes up to me and randomly gives me a kiss or a hug, or like the other night when I had a dress on and he said "You look pretty in that dress mamma", or when he wakes up in the night and calls out for me and snuggles up in bed beside me with his face right next to mine...well. All the battles and frustrations just fly out the window and all that is left is a massive massive great canyon-worth amount of love for my Luca and my Beni - my beautiful boys.

I'm doing my best, trying my hardest to be the best mamma I can be.
I totally need God's help and strength in this but I know I've become a better, stronger, bigger person all because of these little people who I have so totally and completely fallen in love with.

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about ~Angela Schwindt


  1. LLOVE LOVE LOVED this post Brigitte!! It made me Laugh out loud. oh my. Your writing is just coming on in leaps and bounds. And I have to say that even though you showed us a photo of yourself as a WRECK (your words not mine)... you are still BEAUTIFUL. You see, it's all in that smile. GORGEOUS is what I say. So keep smiling. Because yes of course we all have those days (tho you might be alone in the car-in-the-poo thing, I dunno but somehow we haven't had that one yet!!)... erm, yes, back to my rant: you are doing a GREAT job as a mum (and a blogger BTW)... and I love the way you capture these moments with humour and honesty..
    Oh I spoke too soon about the poo. We have a poo emergency RIGHT NOW!!! POO EVERYWHERE!! Arrgghhh! Gotta go!!

  2. Great post! I'm sure many mama's can relate. Chin up! :)

  3. Oh I feel for you, my son is almost 3 as well ;)

    Although I can't say I have had a poo incident yet, yikes!

    Your blog said all the things I think in my head, so don't worry you are not alone! Jeez and I only have the one to deal with :) Go you!

  4. Hello! I just found your blog through my friend Simone's one and loved this post. Love you photos too :o) As a mother of two boys 18 months apart, I promise it gets easier as they get a little older.

  5. This was such a brilliant post. I love the photo of your face - your optimism and happy nature shine through. I too have those spikey fronds coming out of my head where my hairline used to be. And I used to think a bad hair day was only getting 20 minutes with my GHDs!

  6. Hey Brigitte, from what I've read I see a mum who is doing exactly that - doing her best, and trying her hardest. Thankfully God fills in the gaps for us hey?

    Love the pure honesty in that photo. You're awesome.

  7. OH man you make me laugh so - cos I love how you just say it how it is - and you also say what I think soooo many mums think!!!!
    I think you are just so beautiful - even with the broken tooth (though at least you can get it fixed for free with the free 1 year dental care after Beni's birth eh). The spikey hair (I call it bum fluff) - mine's growing back grey aaagh! And the bloodshot eyes - well nothing a sleepin couldn't fix eh - oh well, we can live in hope for sleepins!!!

    And onto the car in the poo - well I have had poo in the sandpit and lost count of how many poos in undies needing a showering down of Bella - and so have taken to bribing with chocolate coins (not really working, so starting tomorrow I get to eat one if she does a poo in undies - she gets to eat one if she does poo in the toilet - going for reverse psychology)
    Keep blogging Brigitte - I love it. xox


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