Home

I have just woken from a sleep with three boys in the bed with me.
Luca, Beni and Max.
One at my back, two at my front.
A part of my body touching each of them, aware of their presence, aware of each little breath.

I am satisfied.
I am overwhelmed.
I am happy.

On Sunday, two days after my c section, I was discharged from hospital. Oh the joy!
I simply couldn't wait to get home. To be surrounded by my family again, to have the pleasure of being there when my boys call out in the middle of the night and soothing them back to sleep with kisses and cuddles and sweet words of nothing much.

After 16 days of being in the hospital I am finally HOME!

And I've brought home with me a dear little bundle.

He is loveliness captured in 7pound, 2 ounces.

I have often wondered how I would ever have room in my heart to love another child as much as I love Luca TJ and Beni-Boo. But, oh yes, it is possible. And easily done. From the moment of hearing his first little cry, hearing the words "It's a boy!", my heart trebled in size.

His first 12 hours of life was spent on my chest - skin to skin, feeding as and when he wanted to, his ear against my chest listening to my heartbeat, just like it had been for the last 38 weeks and 2 days in the womb.

Although the disappointment of not being able to have a homebirth was huge, and because of complications getting him out during the cesarean means any future pregnancies need to be delivered via c-section, bringing home a happy healthy baby has far out-weighed these disappointments. What was done needed to be done. If it wasn't for medical intervention we wouldn't have Max, Austin could possibly be without a wife and Luca and Beni motherless.
That's what it comes down to and for these reasons alone I am so incredibly thankful I live in today's day and age.

Watching Luca and Beni welcome their new brother home has been an amazing thing.
They are so very proud.

Luca is constantly bringing cars to Max to play with, resting them on his chest.
Beni comes and strokes his head, saying "Gentle, gentle" as he does so.
Both of them smother Max with kisses at any opportunity, singing songs to him as he listens, his eyes following their every move. It is so obvious he recognises their voices from when he was in the womb and isn't phased at all by the noise levels they reach. {Phew!}

On the first morning back I explained to Luca about Max getting his food, which is milk, from Mamma's breasts. He accepted this without blinking an eye.
Whenever Max starts crying or stirring Luca is now quick to inform me "Mamma, Max needs to have milk from your boobies now please".

And on that note - I have milk. Plenty of milk.
And with huge amounts of milk comes huge breasts.
Needless to say Max is quickly learning to swallow fast and not panic when he thinks he is drowning, but to remember to breathe. Poor wee guy.
{So yes dad, he is now smelling very lovely and milky!} 

As much as I am loving being waited on hand and foot by Austin and his mum and dad, it's also nice to be able to feel like things are getting back to normal. I did a load of dishes today for the first time in over 2 weeks and got the dinner ready this evening. Intense, I know.

Austin's mum and dad are with us until the end of June and it is SO WONDERFUL having them here!!! Watching my boys pour out their love on the grandparents does my heart good.

It's a very very special time with Granny & Pop here and we are soaking up every moment (and letting them change as many pooey nappies as we can...!)

:::