Thursday, 26 August 2010

Tamperings, Tendinitis and Tantrums

Picture this #1: 
A mother has her two children in a toy store situated in a mall. The youngest is sitting happily in the buggy, the older child, a toddler, has found a ride-on car to zoom around the toy store in.
The mother gives the toddler a 5 minute warning that it will soon be time to say goodbye to the toys.
A few minutes later the mother lets the toddler know that in 2 minutes it will be time to go. Then a 1 minute warning.
By this time the toddler had climbed out of the ride-on car and started looking at some toys he had parked up beside. Just before the mother was able to tell the toddler it was time to go, another little toddler spotted the car and started to climb in, which then caused a very big display of high and undesirable emotions to spill out of the toddler who had earlier been in the car, thus thinking it was his car.
An episode of much rolling around on the ground kicking and screaming then took place.
The mother very calmly and carefully moved the kicking toddler away from all precariously balanced displays while she copped a few good blows to the head and face from flailing arms and legs. She then tucked the Tantrum Toddler under her arm by his waist, grabbed the buggy with the very good, sweet and happy younger sibling in it and headed for the exit.
Once out in the mall the Tantrum Toddler soon settled down enough for the mother to put him down on the ground, hoping he would hold her hand.
No such luck.
Tantrum Toddler saw his chance and ran to an alcove directly across from the Toy Store entrance.
Mother saw what was happening, put the brakes on the buggy and dashed back as quickly as she could (although she was limping badly due to suspected Achilles Tendinitis on her left leg) to block the doorway to the Toy Store just as Tantrum Toddler was making a sprint towards it's entrance.
Not happy to be out-smarted, beaten to the mark by his limping mother and again denied access to the Toy Store, more screaming and kicking followed. To which, the mother just limped away leaving - to everyone's apparent horror - a screaming toddler lying on the floor of the mall.
She was quite appreciating the acoustics of the tiled mall, the way her Tantrum Toddler's screaming bounced all around as she limped along. She also knew he would eventually give up and follow her.
And he did.

Picture this #2:
A mother has her two children in the doctor's surgery, waiting for her appointment to see the doctor about her suspected Achilles Tendinitis. The youngest is sitting happily in the buggy, the older child, a toddler, has quickly grown bored of the toys provided at the surgery and is now wanting to explore. To his absolute frustration his mother prevents him from running down the hall and opening the various doors to the doctor's offices and, as a result of once more being denied from doing what he really wants to do, starts screaming and kicking while his mother man-handles him back to the waiting area.
With the toddler's screams still ringing high and true, her name is called so into the doctor's office they go.
Mid-way during the appointment the toddler decides to get up, open the door and run away.
The mother, who is not able to be very quick off the mark due to her suspected Achilles Tendinitis run-limps after the toddler (even though running is the worst thing possible for Achilles Tendinitis, but she doesn't have a choice) and manages to catch up to the toddler just as he is about to make his great escape out the door onto the London streets.
She was quite appreciating the acoustics of the hushed doctor's reception and waiting area, the way her Tantrum Toddler's screams broke the silence as she carried him back.
The mother was pretty sure the doctor had been looking back through her file in her absence and noting how she suffers from dirty ol' post-natal depression, as she was greeted with a very sympathetic look from the doctor when she entered the room again with Tantrum Toddler.
The mother was desperately thinking "Don't give me any sympathy please as I will totally break down and start pouring my heart out to you about how I can't do this! I don't know how to control my toddler! He's driving me craaaaazzzzzzyyyyyyyyy!!!"
And to her credit, the mother didn't break down in a quivering mess in the doctor's office.
Instead, the Tantrum Toddler was bribed with a treat to keep him quiet, the achilles pain was talked about, diagnosed and anti-inflammatory medication prescribed. A doctor's letter was written which means that medical insurance will pay for all physio required for this injury, meaning that the mother will hopefully still be able to run the marathon she has diligently been training for.
At the end of the appointment Tantrum Toddler surprised everyone by turning on his charm and saying "Thank you, goodbye" to the doctor.
Who can understand how they tick?
"Not I" thought the mother as she headed for home craving whiskey and a cigarette, even though she doesn't drink whiskey or smoke cigarettes.

Picture this #3: 
The workings of a toddler who likes to pull everything apart.

You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have, for instance.
~Franklin P. Jones


  1. omg - joe did the same thing to my laptop!!
    and yesterday a meltdown in new world. "i WANT jellybeans! i LIKE jellybeans!! and so many tears they almost had to put out a yellow safety sign.
    funny posts, thanks for sharing, we are not alone!

  2. OH Brigitte!!!! I have so been there, I picture the day I whipped my daugther up at the age of 3 her baby brother sitting unawares in the buggy... we walked through the mall - her screaming, kicking and hitting me. I was as calm, cool as a cucumber... until we got to the car where we engaged in a mighty war of "getting into the carseat". Then I crawled into the drivers seat and cried.
    HARD times.

    So sorry to hear about your tendon too! What will it mean for your training????

    I think whiskey has it's place at times. x

  3. Wow. He has sure been throwing it your way, hasn't he! Mine can be just as rascally. When I was heavily pregnant with Pudge, Bean threw the mother of all tantrums because I tried to put him in a shopping trolley. Screaming, hitting, sobbing, kicking...I finally gave up and put him back in the car, but not before a nice old lady walked past and told me sympathetically - "In my day we were allowed to slap them!"

    You're not alone, my friend. ;)

  4. Have you checked out Mums on top website? They are running New Zealand's Best mummy blogger competition.

  5. Oh my giddy aunty, you have had a day of it and are still alive!! well done lucious lady with the gammy leg!
    Hope tomorrow is way better and glad that you can always see some good stuff amidst crazy times! love to you xx

  6. Hello! You know that reading about someone else's tantrumming (?) toddlers always makes you feel a little bit better about your own! Oh no look at your computer. I didn't even realise that buttons did that!

  7. Man - full respect for staying calm - there really is no other way to treat the great tantrums - love the image painted of you hobbling away and Luca screaming on the floor mall.
    And Joe and Bella too have done that to our old laptop - note I said old laptop cos they actually broke it for good! Pushed the power button down so hard it slid under and was stuck! And I think the standing on it didn't really help!!! needless to say the new one is out of bounds for the wee ones.
    Hope your physio goes well and you can get back to training! xox


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