i miei tre mascalzoni

You don't raise heroes, you raise sons.  

And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes.  

~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.

Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich, 

for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant.  

~Epictetus

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.  ~Plato

I have always admired Plato. He knows his stuff.

:::

I wanted to give an update on the boys - purely for the reason of marking this date in time and putting their character, likes and dislikes in writing. Figuring that one day I'll look back at this post and say "Ahhh I now remember how they were when we were living in Italy. How little they were. How naughty they were. How gosh darn cute they were!".

So here's the low-down on my three rascals:
*all photos are taken by our amazing Swiss friends and their flash-as-a-flash-thing camera. 

Luca

5 years old.

This boy is pure dynamite! I don't think I have ever met anyone as strong-willed as this little boy.
I really don't know who he gets it from......... {damn}.

He loves to be in charge and come up with ideas for things.
Doesn't like the fact that mamma and pappa are the boss...

Luca is super-charged for fun and laughs and tickles and any physical contact at all the times.
Lately he has been a great help around the house - I often find him standing on his yellow stool at the kitchen sink doing the dishes. I know! How cool is that?!

The other day when Max was power-chucking all over the kitchen floor and I couldn't find the wipes on hand, Luca raced up the stairs at my command to have a look for them and came racing down again with great triumph when he found them. 
Shortly after this I settled Max down for a sleep and came downstairs again to find Luca filling up the mop bucket with water. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "I'm cleaning up the vomit. It's a puzza (stinky) smell".

Which brings me on to his Italian/English vocabulary. Often his sentences are dotted with the odd Italian word thrown in. e.g. the other day when he was doing some drawing with his colouring pens (which are getting a bit old) he said to me "Mamma this giallo has lots of colore".
And just tonight when I was praying with him before he went to sleep:

{Mamma} - "Thank you that Luca had a fun day at school today--"
{Luca} - "It's scuola Mamma, scuola"
{Mamma} - "Oh... si, scusa Luca - Thank you that Luca had a fun day at scuola today..."

Luca is a wonderful big brother (most of the time) and enjoys looking out for Beni and Max and including/informing them on things when we are out and about.
When playing inside the thing you will most likely hear him say is "Come on Beni, FIGHT ME!"

He is pulling out some really cool dance moves and rap songs which he makes up on the spot and performs them with great gusto, finishing with a dramatic pose at the end. It's awesome to watch.

Most days I have at least two battle-of-the-wills with him which are never pleasant and always exhausting. Yet I can see his determined spirit and confidence will hold him in great steed for when he is older. 
Although the process will be a bit painful and not without tears, I can already see he is going to be a very fine upstanding gentleman.

Beniamino

3 years old *at the end of November

This little guy is a rascal. Funny, fun-loving, chilled-out, dramatic, sensitive, quietly mischievous (...once again, I don't know where he gets that from.....)
I could spend a lot of my day laughing at Beni-Boo. 
He is the definition of a cheeky monkey.

Still loves his muzzy (muslin cloth) and dummy (pacifier/soother) a bit too much, but when we are all together again as a family we can work on getting him used to being without the 'comfort' of his dummy. Potty training him by myself is quite enough for me at this stage!

Beni is the King of Movie Quotes. At the oddest moments he comes out with a line that quite often leaves me in tears from laughing.
A few months back he was particularly angry at me over something and he came up to me, leaned forward and yelled "YOU. ARE. A. TOY!!" (from Toy Story). I swear I nearly peed my pants when he came out with that one.
There's the "Look at mah face!" from Despicable Me, and numerous one-liners from Tangled.
But my favourite is saying to me, quite out of the blue: "Mamma, are you a muppet or are you a man?" (from The Muppets movie).

When it comes to tantrums, he doesn't really know how to do them with any effect. It's just not in his nature.
Super chilled-out, a day-dreamer. 
The kind of boy who always has time to stop and smell the roses.
The kind of boy who, if there was a field with one tree in the middle of it, he would run into that tree and bump his head because he wasn't looking where he was going.

Nine times out of ten Beni ends up in our bed at night. I often wake to a little body snuggled up against my back. And this is fine by me - I secretly look forward to when he'll wander down the hall during the night for cuddles.

He is tender and affectionate - at night when I say prayers with him he likes me to lie beside him ("Mamma, lie downna me") while he settles into sleep. As I lie beside him with my eyes closed I often feel a little pat-pat on my face, a tender stroke on my cheek or nose, a rub on my shoulder by a dear little hand.
These are some very precious moments I have with my Beni-Boo that I will always treasure.

Massimiliano

18 months old.

This boy is a little firecracker! Our Rosso Furioso.

Max totally adores his brothers and thinks they are the most funnest people around. 
When Luca and Beni are playing and running after each other, Max will join in and laugh when they are laughing and run when they are running, parroting their expressions and exclamations - not that he understands the game or what they are laughing about but just because he wants to be like them. And they are fun.

He is super confident in all activities - runs, jumps, climbs, wrestles without fear and with much gusto.

But when he wants something and is denied it - well, he will let you know his disapproval and without holding back.
I have never known a 1 year old to throw tantrums. Luca didn't cotton on to these until he was at least 2 years old and Beni hasn't cottoned on to them at all... 
But Max throws them and they are hilarious! I find it very difficult not to laugh at him when he's thrown himself down on the ground and is kicking his legs because I won't let him have any of my wine. 
Or because he didn't want me to put away my boobies yet because apparently he wasn't finished feeding (although all he was doing was stroking them and quite frankly I've got better things to do...) Yes I am still breastfeeding my 18 month old and no it doesn't look like he's interested in giving them up yet.

Max has become quite the celebrity around the village here, what with his capelli rossi e occhi blu (red hair and blue eyes). 
And the way he says ciao and buon giorno without being prompted. 
Yes, hearts melt.

Being a 'surprise' baby he was obviously quite unexpected, but Oh. My. Goodness. am I pleased he came along! I can't imagine this family being complete without him. 
He gives the most wonderful cuddles, completely wrapping his arms around your neck and is very happy and content (except for when I don't let him have any of my wine... what a mean mamma huh?)


These boys are each so different but have a very strong brotherly bond. 
I know one day they will all be taller than me and patting me on the head while they (no doubt) make fun of me. 
But I am already so very proud of them and the responsibility I have as their mamma often leaves me with heart palpitations.
I want the very best for them.
I want them to be the very best they can be.
I want them to succeed.
I want them to be happy, well-mannered, respectful, confident, loyal, wise men who love God, people and creation.
Isn't this every mother's wishes?
I guess I'm super scared I'll hinder them in some way from achieving the above.
Am I too angry? Probably.
Am I too strict/claustrophobic/limiting/grumpy? Possibly.
But I'm doing my best under our current circumstances and I really hope and pray they will look back on their childhood and have nothing but memories of happiness, love and security. 

:::

Oggi

Today (Oggi).

 I am:

- frantically knitting scarves and mittens during Max's naptimes in the endeavour to keep my children warm this winter.

- watching re-runs of Downton Abby while I frantically knit.

- enjoying spending time with and cuddling my Maxi who is rocking a particularly retro look today.

- constantly putting logs on the fire to keep it roaring so this concrete and tile house of ours stays warm-ish.

- making pizza for dinner tonight. Quick and Easy. And the oven helps to heat the house.

- wondering if I need to look into the possibility of Beni being lactose intollerant. He pooes way too much and messily than I am sure is normal and necessary.

- blowing my nose every 5-7 minutes.

- going to cut Luca's fingernails when he gets home because Max and Beni are both sporting a fresh scratch to the face this morning...

- folding that mountain of washing that has been sitting on the couch for the past week.

- drinking way too much coffee.

- missing my husband.

- willing the 17th of November to arrive speedily because that's when I'll see my husband again.

- so very grateful to my husband for working so hard to keep us clothed, fed and comfortable in Italy.

- praying we'll find a house to move into in London soon so:
a) we can all be together again;
b) I can go to sleep at night with my husband beside me;
c) I can wake up in the morning with my husband still beside me. Or if he's not beside me it's because he's giving the boys breakfast and bringing me coffee in bed...

:::

Equipping the next generation

Everybody tells me that they would love to knit, but they don't have time.

I look at people's lives and I can see opportunity and time for knitting all over the place.

The time spent riding the bus each day?  That's a pair of socks over a month.  

Waiting in line?  Mittens.  

Watching TV?  Buckets of wasted time that could be an exquisite lace shawl.  

~Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Sunday afternoon saw me sitting on my bed knitting while Luca and Beni - also on my bed - had some quiet time watching a DVD while Max slept (lucky boy).

Out of the blue Luca asks me, "Mamma, can you teach me how to knit? I would like to make something cool for me!"

Well blow me down and call me Judy.
I never thought the day would come when one of my sons would be interested in knitting. But for the past 10 minutes I had observed him from the corner of my eye starting to become quite fixated on what I was creating with the clickety-clack of my knitting needles.

Of course I immediately jumped on this opportunity and said "Of course Luca! I would love to teach you how to knit! What would you like to make?"

Next thing: flick flick flick go the pages of a knitting pattern book I had on hand and he stops at a picture of a scarf.
"I will make this one Mamma" he says super confidently.

Next thing I know he's on the ground doing some stretches.

"What are you doing Luca?" I ask, amazed at this quick change in direction from reading a patterns book to doing lunges.
"I'm doing stretches Mamma" he says, matter-of-factly. "You need to do good stretches before you do knitting".
Oh. I did not realise this.
All these years I've been knitting and failing to do my stretches beforehand....

And so, stretches completed, we both excitedly sit down side-by-side on my bed to learn the basics of knitting.
I was super excited about teaching him the art of knitting. An art which was passed down from my nana to my mum to me, and now to my 5 year old son!
I was feeling a very proud mamma.

Luca is the kind of boy who can put his hand to anything and it turns out well.
He's got an intelligent (and annoyingly quick) brain in that beautiful head of his.
He listened intently to my instructions and watched my every move, his hands itching to do it himself. He completed 2 rows before he got bored of it and ran off to play with his cars.

But, upon leaving, he did ask me to put his knitting somewhere safe so he can come back and finish it later.

What a very cool little interlude in my day that was!
It doesn't happen every day that my son asks me to show him how to knit...

Really, all you need to become a good knitter are wool, needles, hands, and slightly below-average intelligence.  

Of course, superior intelligence, such as yours and mine, is an advantage.  

~Elizabeth Zimmerman

A knitter only appears to be knitting yarn. 

Also being knitted are winks, mischief, sighs, fragrant possibilities, wild dreams. 

~Dr. SunWolf

:::

Sampling + Appreciating Nature

An olive.
A fig.
A pomegranate.

All ready to be eaten.
All extremely tasty.
All harvested from their branches and sampled by yours truly.

Delicious.

It just so happens that the trees on which these fruits happily grew are situated beside the road on my running route.

I am still in complete awe at the copious amounts of fruit trees, olive groves and vineyards that are dotted around the countryside through which I run every Monday to Friday after dropping Luca and Beni off at school.

The beauty of the countryside surrounding our village, so lush and green, is such a joy to run through every day.

Even the many many steep hills that I push the buggy up cannot taint my appreciation and wonder of this beautiful land we are so blessed to be living in.

Today the air was crisp, still and oh-so-clear.

Before I knew it I had run up the hills which I normally need to stop and catch my breath on.

My mind and heart were singing the praises of the beautiful day and spectacular views.

Max was sleeping soundly - as always - lulled into sleep by the familiar tapping of my feet on the road and rhythmic breathing to match my footfalls.

Even the nasty little yappy dogs stayed away today.

Maybe someone ran over them, like I always threaten I will do - come back in the car and "deal" to them.

Yeah it's tough talk, but I would never actually do that (just incase you're getting nervous)...

It feels so great to get back into running as part of my every day routine.

Those good-feeling endorphins are addictive.

As is the rapturous joy of seeing my waistline and arse finally start to shrink back down to a more pleasing size.

And when nature has pomegranates and figs on offer for sampling? Well, the chocolate gets put to the back of the cupboard. At least until after lunch...

:::

Il mio amore

My husband returns tonight - WAHOO!!
We are all very excited!

It's been 4 weeks.
He's here for 3 days.

In that three days there's a lot of catching up to do. A date night. Belated Birthday Cake making and eating. And just spending time together.

So you won't be seeing anything of me for the next three days. But I'm sure you understand.

Happy Weekend everyone! X

:::

Monsieur Bidet, Je t'aime

He's super-cute. Yes indeed.
With an incredibly funny personality.
My fun-loving, sensitive, affectionate, strong little boy.

...who just doesn't seem to 'get' toilet-training.

I have a list of serious questions for God when I get to heaven - and poos and potty training is right up there with the best of them!

Maybe it's because I currently can't pretend to be busy doing something else and leave Austin to clean it up... but it feels like a much longer and messier process this time around compared to when Luca was toilet-training.

Because there's only me as the responsible adult therefore I must be the one to deal with the situation.

Not happy about that.

I really really really hate dealing with poos.

But I must say I am very grateful for the use of a bidet during toilet training. Especially when it is a particularly messy situation.... which is most of the time.

I have been saving on wipes and toilet paper thanks to my new pal and love Monsieur Bidet.

I know we'll get there with Beni-Boo but it's just a very painful process at the moment.
But day by day, and with the bribery reward of a lolly we are slowly making progress.
And when his aim is true he's so proud of himself and there's a big round of high-fives for everyone.

So during this toilet-training experience Monsieur Bidet has been my saviour and has (mostly) prevented this mamma from dry-wretching during the clean-up process.

Monsieur Bidet, Je t'aime.

:::

Linking up here

The Dream

God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow in them.  

~Author Unknown

It was one of the first things that attracted me to him - his love for Italy.

We were sitting in an open marquee at the Parachute Music Festival in the year 2000, chatting easily into the evening about our individual plans for the future, hopes, dreams (he's good like that, he likes to talk about these things). 

I had only met him a couple of times before, this gorgeous 6ft 4" man who used to flat with my brother.

The atmosphere around us seemed electric as I became aware that Mr. So-Flippin-Hot  sitting opposite me, our knees nearly touching, had hopes and dreams similar, if not identical, to my own.

And thus began a beautiful thing, resulting in marriage and three children. 

Over the years our dreams for Italy never changed.

In 2002 we got married on my parent's property in New Zealand.

By the beginning of 2003 we were living in London with the view of working and settling in the UK and thus financing our desire to buy an investment property in Italy. A property that we hoped to eventually, one day, live in.

In September 2004 we signed the ownership papers for our house in Manoppello, Italy.

In March 2005 we took a 'maintenance crew' of friends from London over with us and by July 2005 we were able to rent the house out for short-stay holidays.

It all seemed to happen so quickly. So easily. Almost too easily. The dream had started to become reality. We now owned a property in Italy - the only country in the world where we actually owned a house.

We would holiday there as much as we could, which ended up being about twice a year for a week or two at a time. Every time we visited our home in Italy we would be kicking ourselves for not making more of an effort to learn the language.

We knew we were going to eventually live in Italy for a couple of years at least, but procrastinated about learning Italian properly.

And then came the clincher.

The property we were renting in London and had been living in for nearly 3 years was being sold. The owners are good friends of ours and were being very generous with our rent amount, and yet still we were only just being able to stay afloat financially. With me being a stay at home mamma and down to living off a single income, our finances became a lot 'tighter'. 

When we started to look for properties to rent around the same area everything was well above what we could afford. We had a couple of days of feeling very 'low' about our situation and then the thought dropped into our heads - it seemed at the same time - of moving to Italy for a period while we sort out our finances. Moving to Italy would mean we won't be paying mortgage and rent. Keeping things afloat in London and Italy was starting to become impossible.

And so the move to Italy came about. All our London things were put into storage, a few boxes were couriered to Italy (containing my sewing machine and the boy's toys and books. You know, things we can't live without) and the rest came over with us in 3 suitcases on the plane.

Our dream  of living in Italy was always a "one day" dream and we never knew when that day would be or how it would look. We never thought we would be forced to live in Italy as our only option.

And we never dreamed that it would only be one of us living over here...

How DUMB it is that finances have dictated our decisions and it's resulted in only one of us living in the country of our dreams with our children while the other one brings in the money to keep food on our table {and not just any ol' food. Italian food mind you!}

But I'm still hanging onto that dream of us all living together in Italy. 

This is a stretching time for us, but we both have peace about our decisions. Now that we have children and their needs to consider we realise our decisions affect them also.

God only knows what our futures hold and I'm holding onto Him by my fingernails! (which are unfortunately very short at this present time...)

This is not an ideal situation, I know that.

But I have peace.

And I know it will all work out in the end.

We received a very exciting package of goodies from Austin's parents in New Zealand and enclosed was a wonderful letter from my father-in-law (King Dave). Such encouraging words he had to say: 

"We think you are doing an amazing job, bringing up the boys in a foreign country. You will look back on these months as something very special. A time of bonding and unique opportunities..."

I cannot express how much these words mean to me. They have brought great encouragement to me since I read them - thank you Dave! X

I absolutely agree - I know our time here in Italy is very special and is something we will carry with us for the rest of our lives.

This dream - our italian dream - is worth fighting for.

There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.  

~Author Unknown