It's all coming back to me (mostly)

It's funny how there are some things that you will never forget when raising children. The pain of labour (I will never EVER forget that feeling...), the absolute joy in finally meeting the baby you have carried for nine months, the little snuffling noises that only newborns can make, the milky smell of their skin, the wonderful sound of your baby's first giggle. The list goes on and on.

But the flip side of this is that there are certain things that you do forget and it's not until you are in the throes of a battle over a plastic spoon with a 5 month old do you remember that their vice-like grip is a force to be reckoned with...

I also forgot that it is a messy messy business feeding an infant. After every feed time there is a new change of clothes needed for the both of us.

One thing that has TOTALLY surprised me - and I thought I would never fall into this category - is that I forget to eat. Yes you heard me correctly and it's quite disturbing.

Now, I am a foodey-food-lover from way back and most of the time (prior to having children) my thoughts would always be centered around what I will be having for my next meal. Not because I was poor or starving, but because I love food and my husband also happens to be an exquisite cook! I know, how lucky am I?!

One of the highlights of my day when I was working used to be breakfast. But gone are the days of a bacon, omelette and cheese bagel and/or a fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate croissant for breakfast. I think I purposely forget about breakfast when I'm at home because cereal is just so BORING! Usually it's not until I reach lunchtime and wonder why I'm about to eat my own arm do I realise that I've, once again, forgotten to eat breakfast.

I can hear my mother and sisters (and husband for that matter - what's his voice of reprimand doing in my head??) saying how important it is to have breakfast in the mornings to kick-start your metabolism blah blah blah. Yeah I know all that but what can one do when one totally forgets to eat because one is busy making sure that one's children are eating! Sheesh, the pressure!!

Another thing I didn't expect with having baby number 2 (because I obviously had no prior experience in this area) was how well Luca and Beni would get on. This has actually totally taken me by surprise. Maybe it's because I heard so many stories of how the first child gets really jealous of the 2nd born and lashes out at them or bites their toes when they are feeding (not pointing the finger or anything Sister Tyra). But this has not been the case at all with Luca and Beni. There is so much love in the room it's almost rediculous.

I often find the top of Beni's head wet from where Luca has been planting kisses on him. And when Beni wakes up crying Luca is nearly always the first one on the scene to bounce Beni's hammock bed and shush-shush him back to sleep. So so sweet it actually hurts.

This morning when Beni woke up Luca came into our room and said "Beni bigger to play cars now?".
Oh. My. Gosh.
There is one thing that you need to understand about Luca and that is he doesn't share his cars with anyone! This was something I have been worrying about now that Beni is looking to crawl soon - how will Luca be when Beni starts to want to play with cars too? So I was completely gobsmacked when I heard Luca say that. Gobsmacked and absolutely delighted. Of course there will be special cars/toys for each of them that only they are allowed to play with, but I now think the whole 'playing cars together' thang is actually going to be just fine. Yusss!

Now that Beni's getting more active and more aware of what's going on around him I've been trying to involve him in Luca's play. And I've discovered how to involve an infant in the game of car racing:
Step 1: Lie infant on their back
Step 2: Use infant as an object to jump cars over and to drive on.
Result = Infant was wriggling with delight and Toddler liked the new 'obstacle' on the race track.

So although most things are coming back to me on what to expect in a baby's first year, there's a whole new dynamic to family life with 2 children.

And actually, I'm loving it! I'm doing my best to make the most of every moment with these precious gifts we have been given. I am so privileged to be able to be there for them day-in and day-out.

So privileged to be their Stay At Home Mamma.

A family again

I just love the look of delight on my children's faces when they first see me after an absence from them.
When Austin and Luca greeted me at the airport after our 2 weeks of being apart, the look on Luca's face when he saw me was just magic. My baby loves me.

Oh my goodness did I miss them! We skyped once, if not twice a day while Austin and Luca were in London, Beni and I in New Zealand and the erupting volcano in Iceland. There's always a narrow window for skyping or phone calls because of the very annoying time difference! But now I know how it feels for our parents when they see their grandchildren over skype - I was so much wanting to reach into the computer monitor and kiss and hold my husband and son. Realising there was a whole world in between us was incredibly frustrating and a little frightening.

During the 5 weeks in NZ Beni learnt to roll over, started teething, started on solids and put on 1.5kg. Noice.

And he has formed a great attachment to his older brother.

It has been simply heart-melting stuff watching Luca and Beni interact these past few days since we have been together again as a family. Beni has been taking Luca through his repitore of new sounds and showing off his new chunky thighs with dimples on them just like mamma's...

Luca has discovered Beni giggles when you tickle him under his arms. We had a lovely time on our bed this morning having turns tickling Beni to make him laugh. What can compare to hearing children's laughter together? Not even sticky toffee pudding with lashings of caramel sauce and icecream. That says it all.

An interesting and useful thing about Beni being able to have extended times on his tummy is that he can join Luca on the floor playing with his cars. Luca even asks for Beni to come and play cars with him! Up until 2 weeks ago noone dared try to touch any of Luca's cars. What's changed between then and now I don't know but I'm liking it! This afternoon Luca gave Beni his Audi car to play with (his FAVOURITE!!) saying " 'ere go Beni, 'ere go!" and then gave him a kiss on the head. Fortunately there was a couch near by to catch my fall as my legs turned to jelly and my heart melted.

My bags are still yet to be unpacked and the place is a 'happy' mess, but I'm not worrying about the small things, just loving being a part of very special moments with our two sons. You don't get a re-run of these moments so I'm making the most of them.

What does YOUR mamma smell of?

If a group of 2 year olds were to be asked what their mamma smells of today, the conversation would go something like this:

Question: "What does your mamma smell of today?"

Toddler #1: "My mamma smells of lavendar"
Toddler #2: "My mamma smells of roses"
Luca: "Well my mamma smells of baby vomit and breastmilk"...

Neat.

It's just been 'one of those days'... from baby vomit to leaking breasts to messy house... yes, even I the Organised-Tidyness-Freak have let the housework slip today and it actually didn't bother me... too much.

Look, I even took a photo to prove I can be messy! This is very humble of me I thought (although I did tidy up straight after I took this...)

I got the chilluns weighed this morning and Luca is now 16kg and 95cm tall - aparently perfectly in proportion for a 3 year old (...although he's only 2 and a half... bless his size 8 cotton socks!)

Beni has put on 9oz in 7 days and is now 5.54kg (12lb3) - go boy go!! SUCH a relief to have his weight start to climb up again. 

I like 'em chunky!

So now the little people are in bed and the husband is home doing the dishes (I LOVE HIM!) I'm off to soak away the Milky-Mamma smell in a bath scented with lavendar oil. Hmph.

Mess Happens

When one has a toddler who is a creative-type, one must be willing to allow messy-ness to happen.

I must admit that when my sister Gretchen gave Luca a paint-set for Christmas, my heart did lurch for a moment as my mind rapidly constructed images of fingerpainting all over the walls, floors, doors and on our creamcoloured bedspread (WHY did I get a cream-coloured bedspread in the first place?? The first day out it got christened with a lip balm that Luca found beside the bed...).

And then I thought - well when Luca wants to paint, it can be when Aunty Gretchy is around and SHE can deal with the mess while I can pretend to be busy doing....other things....I'm sure I'll find something!...

I then realised to my absolute horror that I really was starting to become more like Monica off Friends whom I find incredibly annoying with her anal-retentiveness. Close friends have often commented "Doesn't Brigitte remind you of Monica from Friends?" of which I would always point out their bad error of judgement, and yet here I was worrying about 'Oh no MESS!' before it had even happened - it was even the potential for mess that was starting to give me the cold-sweats...

And so it comes down to this - Mess happens. Get over it.

I never thought I was a 'super-tidy' as a child, but I now remember a time when my older sister Tyra and I shared a bedroom.  Tyra was obviously not a 'super-tidy' like me and there came a point when I drew an invisible line along the floor and informed Tyra that this was my side of the room and that was her side and therefore all her things were to stay on her side!

Of course she never listened because she is the older one afterall and therefore she makes the rules...

But being his mother's son, Luca seems to have picked up the tidyness and orderly loving gene from me.  He spends most of his days meticulously lining up all his cars, trucks, trains and aeroplanes, then moving them one by one to a new spot in the house.  And he likes to help wiping things down, putting away his shoes and clothes, so I can't complain really!

So when Austin was at home to help on Saturday we cracked open the new paint set and I took a backseat and allowed my son to create with the paint to his heart's content (within the boundaries of the paper...!)

He painted pictures of Finding Nemo, Bruce the Shark and a Dinosaur.

The last thing I want to do is stifle my children's creativity and take away simple pleasures and opportunities for discovery and development just because things might get out of order! That's actually a really scary thought and that's not the kind of mamma I want to be.  Being a Stay At Home Mamma goes hand-in-hand with providing opportunities for my children to be creative and to express themselves through all different kinds of media which is all part of a healthy development. Now that I'm learning to understand the importance of this I'm hoping I'll start to get more and more ideas for different ways that Luca and Beni can express themselves freely and creatively in our home and in the outdoors.

Afterall, I want my children to be the best they can be, to enjoy life and to milk it for all it's worth! So Mamma, mess happens, and it's okay!