Gems Of The Week

Precious, Priceless, Pockets of Happiness during my week.

I was supposed to have posted this last night but decided to watch a movie in bed with my husband instead. 
Unfortunately it wasn't the most romantic choice for a movie - The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
Have read the books and loved them and am pleased I knew what was going to happen in the movie otherwise I wouldn't have lasted watching it!
So there's some advice for you - in this case, read the book first and then watch the movie, otherwise you might find it a bit hard to stomach.
Or maybe that's just because I'm pregnant and therefore extra sensitive to all things...?

Anyhoo, time for the good stuff - here's the "Gems" from my week.

:: On Wednesday we had our 20 week scan for Baby #3 and OH MY GOODNESS it was a very special moment in our week. 
We ended up having our two boys with us as it was a 'first-of-the-morning' appointment. I thought it was going to end in carnage having to bring our children along but it was actually an incredibly special time. 
Luca stood beside me during the scan chatting away about what was happening and asking questions while Beni was on Austin's knee pointing at the screen (with his middle finger of course) saying "Bubba! Bubba!" How does he know that?? Clever wee chap.
And once again baby #3 has a cute-as-a-cute-thing profile with a little button nose. We caught it sucking it's thumb. Awwwwww!
I tell you what, there is just as much excitement about baby #3 as there was for baby number 1 and 2. The novelty definitely doesn't wear off.

No we didn't find out the sex - we love the surprise at the end and it helps me get through labour when I think "I'm finally going to meet this little one and find out what it is!"


:: I finally admitted defeat and realised it was time to give Luca a haircut, good and proper.

Big Boy Luca has emerged from under all his hair and I'd forgotten how big his eyes are! So of course he's milking the 'Puppy-Eyed' look while I'm vulnerable...

:: Loving very muchly watching these pudgey little hands discover and conquer new things.

:: I've starting piecing together my first ever quilt and I'm pretty excited {and proud} about it! It features the Italian Alphabet and I've got good feelings it's actually going to look quite cool! {as in, I will put it on the bunk bed in the boys room instead of stowing it away in the cupboard...}

:: Can't get enough, can't get enough no of these boys of ours.

Every day they frustrate and amaze me.
Every day they cause me to feel both anger and happiness.
Every day I'm sure my love for them grows deeper as I watch them grow and interact with each other and love each other.
Every day I am amazed and incredibly thankful they are mine.

Hope you're having a happy weekend! X

Gems Of The Week

Precious, Priceless, Pockets of Happiness during my week.

I really like this part - taking the time to look back on the good in my week.
So often there are moments that happen and I think "Oh that's really awesome/sweet/cool/cute/lovely", but then that moment quickly gets swallowed up by life and dirty nappies...

I'm recognising my need to STOP and really take in those moments when they happen, and don't let them slip by.
A big reason for me doing this blog is to record them so I don't forget!

So here are my "Gems" this week:

:: Beni is walking and he's so proud of himself. And Luca loves to be sitting across from him with his arms wide open, ready for the embrace at the end of the 5-step journey.

 :: Luca's fond caresses of my baby bump.

It delights me that he is so interested and 'aware' of the "baby in Mamma's tummy". As I have been starting to look more pregnant and now have an obvious 'bump', he has taken to patting the bump and just today asked if he could sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to baby.
As you can imagine my heart completely melted right then and there.

:: This week Austin has been working from home which has been marvellous on many accounts, especially because it means I can take afternoon naps, loving this!
And it also means I don't have to be the only one changing the pooey nappies...

:: January 5th saw Austin and I celebrate our 9th Wedding Anniversary!
My husband is so wonderful. He's an amazing dad, this is obvious by the way our boys just adore him.
He's my best friend and I feel like the luckiest woman alive to be married to him!

:: I am loving the special one-on-one time I have in the mornings with Beni-Boo now that Luca's back at school.
Everything is funny for him at the moment and he is such a delightful little guy. So full of life with a cheeky little sparkle in his eye.

 

I hope you are able to take some time to recognise and be thankful for the Gems in your week also.

Have a Happy Weekend! X

Beni Boo Birthday Boy and Boilers

Where did this year go?!?
I feel like so much has happened in a year and yet it seemed to go by in a swift-moving blur.
My littlest guy is ONE. It's still such a little number and yet he's so big!

Beni Boo had his 1st birthday on Monday. He spent most of the day screaming in pain from his teeth. Thank goodness this is a birthday he won't remember because there were lots and lots of tears.
And dribble.
Lots and lots of dribble.
But we did manage to have a tiny celebration in his honour - making the most of the small window where the drugs were helping to keep the pain from his throbbing gums at bay.

We were supposed to have a wee gathering of people who love Beni come over on Sunday afternoon but on the Saturday our newly installed boiler decided to break down and the repair peeps couldn't fix it until Monday... So this meant the birthday party was off because our guests would have frozen...

But Monday came around, the boiler got fixed, the house warmed up and we ended up having an impromptu party for him.

Luca's drawing of Beni

He got some pretty exciting presents

A very exciting impromptu rocket birthday cake made out of lamingtons - designed by Aunty Gretchie.

I love his toes curling in concentration.

As I am writing this post Americans all over the globe are celebrating Thanksgiving. How apt because I am consumed with Thankfulness for this little guy Beni Boo.

:::

Dear Beni Boo,

It is strange yet wonderful to think that this time a year ago you were only a few days old in this world - our little guy who surprised us all by arriving 10 days early, beating Mormor's arrival in London by 11 hours. Not even giving her the chance to get off her plane to be present at your birth. But you were in a hurry and we are cool with that.

When you arrived we (your Mamma and Papa) weren't quite expecting it. I was standing up feeling confused by the burning sensation 'down there' I was experiencing. My waters hadn't broken but the contractions were strong and fast. Next thing I know, amidst an extremely strong contraction, you just slid on out onto the gym mat I was standing on, provided (just in time) by the hospital.
A teeny-tiny little 6lb9 bubba.

As I scooped you up and saw you were a boy my heart nearly burst with love and pride. My mind was instantly flooded with so many thoughts and dreams and possibilities of who you would be, what you would become, the hopeful expectation of the joy we will experience in raising you, our precious, perfect son.

In the past year you have grown and developed so much - each phase and stage of development, each 'first' has been marvellous to watch.

You are a cheeky little monkey.
Your laugh is uninhibited and free.
Your happiness is infectious.
Your contentment is obvious.
Your life is ordained and blessed.

We are so grateful and thankful to God for giving you to us to care for and to be a special part of our family.

Big Boy's Big Day

There were no tears from either of us. Just lots of big smiles from a very proud Big Boy and his mamma.

Luca's first day at 'school' {which is actually like a nursery or kindergarten as it is 9am-12pm, 5 days a week but they wear a uniform!}was something I have been anticipating with many mixed emotions, as I'm sure every other mother also experiences.

I have been looking forward to:
- Luca being able to get out of the small space that is our London flat, letting him run around and scream as much as he wants with other kids his own age and meeting new friends.
- seeing him in his new school uniform

{No confidence issues for this child}

- having quieter mornings at home
- having some special Mamma & Beni time


I have not been looking forward to:
- walking away and having to leave him at school because he is only 3 years old!!...

But hey, we are in England and this is how they do things here and - after all - he will come away with a very cute English accent.

Being Luca's first day of school I got to stay with him as part of a settling-in period, which was a good thing because we only just got back from our 2 week holiday in Italy in the early hours of this morning so we were all feeling a little fragile...

He was a little unsure at first so sat on my knee and gave me cuddles for a couple of minutes which was nice.
{I am needed!}
 ... until he saw the toy dinosaurs and then he was off!
And low and behold, guess who was one of the toy dinosaurs...

"Look Mamma, it's Aunty Gretchie!" {otherwise known as Luca's Party Entertainment}.
Oh how I chortled.

And so I passed the hours by proudly watching my little Big Boy make himself familiar at his new school. I love the way he quite often stands and stares at other children, sussing them out, watching how they do things.

I watched from a distance with a smile on my face as he took himself to the toilet, did the Big Boy Standing Up type of wees, pulled his undies and trousers up, washed soaped rinsed and dried his hands before heading out to play once more.

I watched from a distance, itching to be the teacher as she sat down with him at the computer and showed him how to use the mouse to draw pictures and paint.

I watched from a distance as he sat down with another teacher who helped him spread cream cheese on a biscuit and then place bits of dried fruit on it to create a face.

I watched from a distance, stifling a giggle, as he devoured that biscuit with much appreciation.

And all the while I kept thinking how blimmin CUTE my little Big Boy is!

And you know what? It made me see that, actually, we have done a great job thus far at raising this little guy.
He is well-mannered, sweet, loves to laugh, full of life, tender, thoughtful, imaginative, playful, creative, determined...

As much as I am looking forward to having a bit of 'space' in the mornings, I am also feeling rather saddened by the fact that my first born baby who I pushed out not that long ago is already starting school!

Another benefit I can see of Luca going to school in the mornings is that he came home today happy and exhausted, thus having a hearty lunch and a long afternoon nap.

Yessssssss.
I like. I like this a lot.

A week of firsts

A good few things have taken place this week that have never taken place before.
New experiences, developments, occurrences.
A week of learning and moving forward.
Achievements for young and old alike.

So here are our list of Firsts for this week, in no particular order:

1. Austin and I watched The Notebook.
Yes, I understand this may shock many of you as it's been out since like 2004, but I had kind of been avoiding this one as I heard it's a real tear-jerker (although not as much as My Sister's Keeper apparently - once again, one I'm avoiding, for now).
And yes, I bawled my face off.
Sobbed myself to sleep in fact in the arms of my husband.
Great movie. Highly recommended if you have a cold heart of steel.

2. Beni started doing crawling (officially)
He has been getting around doing the Commando Crawl on his tummy, pushing himself along the floor with his left big toe and pulling with his arms. But he has discovered this week that being on all fours is quicker and doesn't wear out the fabric on the tummy of his stretch 'n' grows so much...

3. Went to see a Physiotherapist
I have unfortunately damaged my achilles tendon from running, right in the middle/peak of my marathon training. Typical.
But rather than following in my father and grandfater's 'stubbornness' genes by refusing to go to the doctor when injured, I booked an appointment straight away with the physio and doctor so I could get the 'all-clear' from them to keep training and to still be able to run the Loch Ness marathon at the beginning of October.
They are hopeful I can still do it, but I am having to be super careful with it.

4. For the first time in our 8 years of married life I made Austin's lunch for him to take to work.
Me feeling like good wife.
Me like feeling like good wife.

5. Dealt with 8 tantrums from Luca in the space of 1.5 hours while out in public. 
Awesome. 

OK I've fallen asleep twice while writing this so it's off to bed for me.

Have a great weekend everyone! X

Thankful Thursday

"Gratitude is the best Attitude"

There has been too much of this lately

And not enough of this.

Thank you for all the lovely encouraging comments - it's a relief to know that it's quite normal to find motherhood very hard going!

It still amazes me how two of the cutest kids in the world have the ability to drive me so far up the wall.

But anyway, today has been a new day and with it came a new start, new happenings that provided a vast range of new opportunities for a reaction, new choices. And I am pleased to report I {mostly} chose well.

I had decided early on today that my attitude would be a thankful one. After all it is Thursday!...

So hang on to your seats - there's a whole lot of thankfulness about to be unleashed!

Today I am thankful:

1. ...for the safe arrival of my new neice!

Welcome to Pearl Ruth, 10lb 2oz of delicious perfection!
I love her.
I want to kiss those beautiful chubby cheeks!
I am so proud of my gorgeous sister-in-law and my amazing brother. They are such awesome, proud parents.
It sucks being on the other side of the world right now...

But back to being THANKFUL!...

2. ...that I got to go for an uninterrupted 9 mile run today while the boys slept in the buggy. Bring on the Loch Ness Marathon - only 8 weeks to go!

3 ....that I have a strong healthy body that enables me to get outside and go running, to play with my boys and to help carry the groceries.

4. ...that Beni is possibly the happiest baby in the world and that he's always smiling (except for when his brother hits him over the head with a tractor, or bites his finger, or stands on his head, or practices his WWF moves on him...)

5. ...that Luca seems to have a cracker of a personality.

This morning he 'noticed' that I didn't have a diddle... had to happen at some stage I guess?
So I was busy explaining to him that "Mama doesn't have a diddle but Beni has a diddle and Luca has a diddle..."
And then Luca cuts in saying "...and Papa has a big diddle" (said with a low and gravelly voice).
How do I respond to that??...

6. ...that we have our family holiday in Italy in 3 weeks time!

7. ...that I've got used to the taste of soy milk - and actually quite like it - as I can't have any dairy at the moment. Porridge made with soy milk, raisins, chopped apricots and chopped almonds is a glorious start to the day and yet has a low GI value. We like that yes we do.


8. ...that I can now go and have a deep and peaceful sleep which will no doubt end with snuggly children in bed with us (this is a good thing by the way!)

What are you thankful for today?

"Gratitude is the memory of the heart."  

~Jean Baptiste Massieu, translated from French

Discovering

It's 5pm and I'm only just getting round to doing the dishes from the night before.
Luca has put himself to sleep in his bed because "Luca a bit tired now". He is "a bit tired now" because he absolutely refused to have his nap earlier in the afternoon...
Beni is sitting in the highchair watching me do the dishes while munching on crackers.

As I do the dishes I reflect on the day with it's unforgettable as well as it's forgettable moments...
I think about how my blog is all about 'discovering the joys of motherhood' and I laugh.
A bone-weary, slightly incredulous laugh.
Not feeling the joy at the moment unfortunately. Sorry to be so blatantly honest, but this is just how life as a Stay At Home Mamma currently is for me.
Hard going.
I need to have eyes in the back of my head to keep an eye on Luca and make sure he's not balancing himself on Beni's head again.

This morning the sun came out after a day of rain yesterday. So in honour of the sun's morning light we ventured outside to 'discover'.
No other intentions in mind except to discover.
OK and I was also hoping Luca would drain off some of his energy while we were out.

And discover we did!

We discovered tiny little spiders webs in the grass that had misty droplets on them.
We discovered ant hills.

We discovered that when the sun shines through rain droplets on the grass they look like sugary crystals.

I discovered that Luca can now go very fast on his Thomas Bike...!

Luca discovered a cast-iron statue of an old man and young boy reading a book outside Queen Mary's Hospital (which is right next door to where we live).

Luca was saying "Hey boy, look at me!"

All the while Beni just sat happily in his pushchair and let time pass by.

Luca discovered that if he zooms off down the hill when Mamma says to go another way and then if he doesn't listen or respond to her calls, even if he stops to wait for a car before crossing the street, that Mamma will get very cross...

Luca discovered that Mamma knows a few choice words that made his ears bleed... Something about "Why the *&?@!$ did we ever decide to have $%@?!£ children??"

Luca discovered that if he throws a tantrum in the middle of the street that everybody stops and stares. Everybody except Mamma. She just keeps on walking.

It's all worth it in the end, right?

Motherhood.
Parenting.
Stay at Home Mamma.
It's been hard going.

I knew it would be hard.
I knew I would have to give up my selfish ways (darnnit).

I was hoping my house wouldn't look like a bombsite every day.
I was hoping to maybe be able to have sleep-ins every now and again.
I was hoping my bossoms might keep some of their youthful perkiness, even after breastfeeding 2 children...

Darn those expectations.
Darn them all to heck!

My place is a mess.
I'm seriously sleep-deprived.
My B-rests are definitely not youthful nor perky...

But my babies are currently napping at the same time this afternoon. Now that's a miracle in itself right there!

Earlier this week I spent the morning assembling Luca's new bunk beds that we got him for his birthday. Being the great mother that I am I bribed him with snacks and chidren's TV in order to keep him out of the room for the THREE HOURS it took me to make up the bunks.
But I did it.
All by myself.
I am Strong Woman.

He was very excited to see his new bunks with the Lightning McQueen duvet set, but of course he wanted to sleep on the top bunk but I said no and he said yes and I said no again and he said yes again. It all ended in tears but eventually he went to sleep on the bottom bunk.
I won.
That time.
And to cut a long story short he is now sleeping on the top bunk.

Beni, on the other hand, is happy wherever he is. He's just happy happy and thinks his brother is the coolest thing this side of the womb.

The other great thing about getting new stuff is the packaging! And with the delivery of the bunk beds came a rather large and long cardboard box which rapidly became a pirateship-come-carpark-building.

It also feels nice to sink your teeth into the cardboard.

My husband and I are very much not enjoying and so totally over playing battle-of-the-wills with our nearly 3-year old son.
It makes us feel incredibly frustrated.
It makes us feel like terrible parents because we seem to have an impossibly disobedient son.
Oh I know all about how he's going through a "stage" and is testing the boundaries etc etc. But DEAR GOD HELP!!
Please God, PLEASE when he turns 3 can he instantly move from the 'Terrible Two' category and be transformed into a well-behaved boy who listens to his parents and does as he is asked? We also need this to happen because he is absolutely doing our head in! Thanks.

My mum says to focus on the positive and ignore the negative...
What is there to be positive about when I find him in his room driving his cars through a pile of his own poo on the rug?
I'm pretty sure that is classed as a 'negative' but how can I ignore that?!?!

And to top it all off (I might as well just get it all out there) I'm a wreck.
I mean, just look at me!

I can't blame anything except for the hair-loss on the children but hey, I'm just needing a bit of sympathy ok?
Bells Palsy was a few years prior to having children but the residual effects are more obvious when I get tired and run-down. Dang blast it!
Ok actually I will blame the red-eye on the children because the infection is probably because of a poo particle... Not my own. Ooooooo I can hear your mind ticking back to the 'poo in the forest' episode when the deer jumped out at me but I assure you this is not because of that!

I have to admit that being a mother is the hardest job I have ever undertaken. And I have to admit there are days when I wonder why on God's good earth did I ever decide to have children. But I'm guessing (hoping!) I am not alone in this?

But you know what? When Luca comes up to me and randomly gives me a kiss or a hug, or like the other night when I had a dress on and he said "You look pretty in that dress mamma", or when he wakes up in the night and calls out for me and snuggles up in bed beside me with his face right next to mine...well. All the battles and frustrations just fly out the window and all that is left is a massive massive great canyon-worth amount of love for my Luca and my Beni - my beautiful boys.

I'm doing my best, trying my hardest to be the best mamma I can be.
I totally need God's help and strength in this but I know I've become a better, stronger, bigger person all because of these little people who I have so totally and completely fallen in love with.

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about ~Angela Schwindt