Getting Back My Groove

With a New Year comes an opportunity for change.

An opportunity to put a stake in the ground and say "There is no going back from this point." A choice to only move forward, no matter what comes our way.

Today I did just that.

2010 was pretty much a write-off as far as my relationship with God goes and I'm really sad to admit this, but hey, let's move on huh?

I could blame it on my struggle with PND and lacking all motivation - because most days the only prayer I could utter was "God, help me!"

But I don't want to list out all the excuses - I just want to move forwards now.

So while Beni was taking his morning nap I blew the dust off my bible (literally), sat in my favourite chair with a large cup of tea and put my 'stake in the ground'.

'Artistic' scribble on my bible page is c/o Luca aged 1 year. Not because I was angry :)

This is how it's going to be from now on.
No more excuses Brigitte.
I want growth on the inside, I want change and now is the time.
For myself and for the sake of my husband and my children I'm taking a new grip and strengthening my weary knees.
I'm marking out a straight path for my feet to walk.
Yep.
It's all good and I'm excited about all this year holds for me individually and for us as a family.

I'm so very thankful that God never stops loving, that his grace just goes on and on.
It blows my mind actually because I would be so frustrated at me by now if I was God!
Thankfully I'm not.

How about you? Are you marking out a new path this year? Wanting change? Let me know! I'd love to hear about it and encourage you along the way X

New Year's Eve, an Ambulance, A&E and a letter

It was New Year's Eve.
It was supposed to be a fun "Boy's Day Out" where Austin took the two boys on a Big Adventure for the day.
It ended up with an ambulance ride to A&E.

Austin and the boys were in a cafe and Beni managed to fall off a couch and hit his head on an aluminium window ledge on the way down.
Although there wasn't much blood the area immediately swelled and a big dent formed where his brow had hit the ledge.
It obviously looked quite bad so the cafe staff called an ambulance.
Within 5 minutes Beni had calmed down in Austin's arms.
Within 5 minutes the ambulance had arrived (very impressive!)
Within 30 seconds of the ambulance staff arriving Beni had charmed them all with his smiles and 'middle-finger' pointing and Luca had introduced himself "I'm Luca TJ Bokser" and told them who his teacher was and all his friends at school.

Although Beni seemed happy enough upon the arrival of the ambulance staff to the cafe, because he is a baby with trauma to the head they needed to take him to the hospital to check for signs of concussion.
So off they went in the ambulance - I'm sure you can imagine Luca's excitement - and Beni did some more charming of the nurses and doctors.
One of the checks was for signs of recognition so, the nurse took Beni and started walking away from Austin, hoping to induce a separation anxiety in Beni, but to no effect. Austin had to explain that Beni has always been more than happy to go to anyone and walking away with him won't work...

Fortunately the cut wasn't deep enough to need stitches or "glueing" as they called it (??) so they were sent home with an instruction book on signs to watch for in children after a head injury.

And where was I during all this drama?
At home, knitting, relaxing, that sort of thing, blissfully unaware.
It wasn't until they were in the hospital waiting room that Austin decided to call me....! He knew I'd freak out if he'd called me any earlier and he's probably right.

So brave little Beni-Boo is now sporting a big bump and cut on his head but is still smiling. Bless the dear wee guy.

It was a bit of a dumb thing to happen on the last day of 2010 but just made us even more eager to say goodbye to the year.

:::

Dear Twenty-Ten,
You have been a bit of a crappy year for us, which is disappointing.
We started out with such high hopes but you let us down.
Not happy that your year was the year of the dreadful post-natal depression and all that entails.
That was a real bummer.

But...
There was lots of good stuff too, let's not forget the good stuff!

We were treated to a holiday with our families in New Zealand, that was cool. Actually, that was THE BEST!!

We got to go to the South of France

Italy

 and Germany.

Those were super-cool times with super-cool friends.

There were many very precious moments shared between our two boys.

Many special moments shared between parent and child

There was the safe arrival of niece number 2 - WAHOO!! A bonnie wee lass she is.

Two days before I turned another year older I was surprised to find out I was pregnant with number 3. Now THAT was the best birthday present EVER!! Although I was a little shocked and did the whole nervous laughter thing at first, we think this was a most fabulous gift to be given to us during 2010.

There was a birthday for a three year old

and a birthday for a one year old.

There were summer music festivals in Hyde Park - entertainment for the whole family!

But most importantly, this year was spent together as a family.

I now feel I need to apologise to you, 2010. I may have been hasty in saying this year was "crappy", when in actual fact, there were so many great times and memories made!
It is so easy to let the negative things blind oneself from the positive and for that, I apologise.

By looking back briefly on your year of twenty ten, I am now confident to say, upon entering 2011, that there will be many many good times to be had with family and friends and happy memories made.

So Twenty Ten, I thank you for the memories and bid thee a fond farewell.

Twenty-Eleven...I'M A-COMIN' T' GETCHEW!!

Getting all Christmassy

Today was the day previously assigned for putting up the Christmas Tree and decorations.
Very exciting!

I have spent the past couple of weeks whipping up Christmas presents to send back to NZ by today, being the latest date for guaranteed delivery before Christmas.
Then my sewing machine broke down (SHAMBLES!)
But then my new one arrived within a couple of days even though I wasn't expecting it until about 5 days later (YIPPEE!!).
And can I just add here that my new machine is beautiful.
Simply stunning.
I almost cried when I did the first few stitches and it just purrrrrred along happily instead of noisily clunking at a very out of control speed.

I am one happy woman right now.

So of course I have been spending my days tucked in beside my new friend sewing, sewing and sewing.
Even though I've been sick I haven't passed up an opportunity for bonding (and also because the mailing deadline was rapidly approaching...)

Here's a wee sneak-peek at one of my creations now happily bundled up and on it's way to the Jacobsen Homestead.
(CHRISTMAS PRESENT SPOILER ALERT! Eph & Beks make sure Pearle looks away now).

Eph & Beks: If it happens that wee Pearle is not so wee and doesn't fit these let me know and I'll make another set and you can either:
a) Keep them for daughter number 3 
b) mail them back to me incase Bambino Numero Tre comes out as the girl variety
c) sell them on Trade Me

It's funny yet bizarre how, when I start 'getting my craft on' that I suddenly get all this inspiration for other crafty/handmade things for home improvement.

In the past 2 days - amongst sewing, coughing, blowing my nose and sleeping at every opportunity - I have:
- melted down the dregs of old candles and made new ones

 - made a wreath for our front door

- successfully passed my cough and cold onto Beni-Boo. He's currently coughing and wheezing in bed beside me, poor little dude.

But the highlight for today was putting up the Christmas Tree with the help of our two little munchkins who were ever-so-excited when they woke up from their afternoon nap to find a Christmas Tree with lights on it in our living room, waiting to be dressed with decorations.

Is it bad that I rearranged all the tree decorations after the boys had gone to bed??...

Although the tree is a bit sparse in the whole 'branches' area towards the top, it's still very cute and very happy warming up our lounge with the cosy glow and good feelings it brings.

And it's very excited about being the guardian of all our presents as they gradually start being added under it's branches for safe-keeping until Christmas Eve.

I like it - no, I love it that I have motivation this year to make an effort for Christmas. Unlike last year where I was in my 'just-given-birth-and-am-suffering-from-post-natal-depression-but-don't-know-it-yet' state.

I'm determined to do the best I can to help create the 'Magic Of Christmas' in our wee home for my children.

It's such an incredibly special time of year as a family.

It's such an incredibly important time to teach our boys the whole reason for Christmas.

Gems of the Week

Precious, Priceless, Pockets of Happiness during my week.

Here's some more of that Good Stuff. The 'stuff' that makes me smile / remember fondly / look forward to with great expectation.

~ Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis is in the House.

~ Today we (Luca, Beni and I) went on a speed boat to see Mormor and Scrumpy. When we got there we saw a lion so we all had to jump back onto the speedboat and drive away as fast as we could. Luca drove (not Scrumpy). Then we went to visit Gretchie.
Then Papa came home and we had to move the speed boat so he could get his bike in the front door.

~ We now have a new oven and a new combi-boiler. Both were installed over the last 3 days so things have been rather busy/topsy-turvy in our household. But all the workers have now vacated the building and I am now confident our family will be well fed and warm during the long winter months ahead. This pleases this Mamma's heart.

~ My husband announced the extremely exciting news that Bon Jovi are confirmed to play in Hyde Park next year. AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One thing you probably don't know about me is that I LOVE Jon Bon Jovi. And I mean love love love him! Ever since I was 11 years old and saw their video for Living On A Prayer for the first time. *sigh*
I can still remember where I was: at my friend Karen's place for a sleep-over with a few other friends and we recorded it from RTR Countdown and replayed it over and over and over again - screaming each time we saw the silhouettes of their permed heads emerge from the amongst the spotlights and dried-ice.
Here you are my friends - watch it and weep/scream/faint:

I have my knickers all ready to throw at him. They have been ready to throw at him since I was 11 so unfortunately they are not the most feminine/sexy/lacy pair... but I'm sure he will still be flattened flattered...

~ My husband gave me a gift this evening when he got home - a very chunky-funky red and gold bangle and a pair of beautiful blue suede gloves. Why? Just because.
Just because:
- he loves me
- he wants to remind me he is supporting and loving me through this horrible journey with PND.
- he's wonderful.
Need I mention my husband is so blimmin awesome?!

~ The littlest guy is turning ONE on Monday - awwwwwwwww!! Cake-making commences tomorrow.

Happy Weekend One and All!
X

All it took was a bump on the head

...and the flood-gates opened.

A shelf that has always been in the same spot in our cupboard seemed to jump out and whack me in the head as I bent down to get the brush and shovel.
It hurt. It really hurt.
And so I started to cry. Just enough for my eyes to well up, all the while thinking "This is silly, you've given birth to two babies - now THAT is pain! Why are you crying about hitting your head?!"

But the crying didn't stop. As I bent down to sweep up the dirt from a potted plant Beni had attacked I started to sob. Big sobs that turned into bigger, more painful sobs.
Probably painful because I was trying to hold back the sobs so the boys wouldn't hear and it hurts to do that (have you ever tried it? You feel like your chest is going to explode).

So I locked myself in the bathroom and watched in the mirror as big tears started to wash away my non-water-resistant mascara.

And all I could do was just let the tears come as I cried my way through all that has been pent up lately inside my head and my heart.
I cried because I'm worried about the future.
I cried because I don't know how to communicate to my husband properly how it has felt to suffer from PND and that I don't think I'm handling things very well at the moment - right when I'm mostly finished with my medication...
I cried because I'm angry that I'm not strong enough to be the awesome mamma I want to be.
I cried because I really really really really really miss my mum and dad and it just feels too hard being so far away from them.
I cried because I'm tired.

When I'd finished with all that crying {well, I hadn't finished, there's still bucket loads in there to be shed but no time for the release of those buckets because the boys needed their dinner}, I picked up the phone and ordered pizza. To be delivered.
Austin's at Wembley Stadium tonight watching the football so I figured a takeaway treat was in order for us ones stuck at home. I can't wait until KFC starts doing home delivery...

When it came to Luca's bedtime story we sat down and read You Are Special by Max Lucado.
Such a great book - Luca is quite captured with it. A beautifully written and illustrated story about a community of wooden people and the Master Carpenter who created them.

You know how it is when you are already feeling a little 'tenderised' and then you read something or watch something on TV and HELLO the flood-gates have opened again...! And God seems to use these moments to do a little work on the heart/confidence/fears/trust etc.
Well this is how it was when I was reading the story tonight with Luca. Good one Max Lucado.
Here are a few excerpts that were particularly difficult to read with an involuntarily constricting throat:

"Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench.

'Hmm,' the Maker spoke thoughtfully as he looked at the grey dots.

'Looks like you've been given some bad marks.'

'I didn't mean to Eli. I really tried hard.'

'Oh you don't have to defend yourself to me child....

What they think doesn't matter.... All that matters is what I think.

And I think you are very special.'

Punchinello laughed, 'Me, special? Why?

I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling.

Why do I matter to you?'

Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders and spoke very slowly,

'Because you are mine. That's why you matter to me.' "

I love it how I have been able to take comfort in these simple words written in a children's storybook. 

Simple yet powerful truths: God cares about me. I don't have to defend myself to him. He knows me. He created me. He loves me.

Once I had finished reading the story Luca took the book and said "Luca read it?"

And so, page by page he retold the story to me in his own Luca-Language way. When he got to the last few pages he looks up at me with a big grin and says, "You are very special".

And on the last page, "I love you too much!"

My heart is well and truly tenderised.

Feeling Stretched

Life's not always fair.  Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.  ~Terri Guillemets

 
Last week was a stretching week and I feel sore as a result.
Muscles that I haven't worked in a long time are now causing me discomfort as I have been starting to rely on them once again - unaided, without a crutch.
Building up the strength in these muscles again is a painful process.

I have spent the week tripping over my bad attitudes which have been constantly strewn across my path.
They end up hurting not only me but also those I love.

I need to do my stretches so the aches and pains don't cripple me, so I don't walk with a limp.
I know I need to once again become strong enough to not let the emotions that come through circumstances consume me.

I have to realise there's no point overexerting myself - just little by little, stronger day by day - and going easy on myself with no expectations so I can once again effortlessly live lightly and joyfully.

3 Days with 3 Under 3

My neighbour asked if I could look after her little girl, who is 1 month older than Beni, while she was at work for 3 days this week. She usually has other childcare arrangements in place but was unable to secure these for this week. I figured this wouldn't be a problem as they quite often come over for coffee so her baby (baby K) is quite familiar with me and the little guys.

I have never really been very 'maternal' or given to being 'clucky'. I used to mostly avoid little people as much as I could, or be quite happy to give them back to their parents as soon as they started crying or made any rumbling sounds from down-under. 

When I was pregnant with Luca there was obviously a little bit of concern on my part... What if I didn't like my baby? There was noone to give him back to! I had to deal with the poos myself (or hand him over to Austin... which happened a lot!) and I would have to settle him down myself when he cries. 
I mean, what is it that you do with children anyway?!?! That is still the million dollar question.

What Do You Do With Children?!?
  
I remember being a very good and confident babysitter in my teens. 
Feed, bath and put to bed 5 children? No problem. As long as I get to watch a movie and eat your biscuits afterwards.

But then came my twenties and with it lots of selfishness. "Well, please keep your children away from me. Surely there is a teenager scraped for cash who can babysit for you? I have fingernails that need painting so am absolutely unavailable."

Late twenties I got married and moved to London. Six years later Luca "unexpectedly" came along. Then two years after that little Beni-Boo.
I would just like to say that giving birth to my sons has been 2 of the 3 Best Things I have ever done. 
The third being marrying my Austin.

I love my little guys with everything I have. They have completely revolutionised my world and made me a better (less selfish) person.

Just needed to let y'all know that.

Anyhoo, let's get onto my experience of 3 days with 3 under 3.

So this is how it went:

DAY 1
While texting my mum that morning I mentioned that I was looking after an extra baby for the next three days.
She text me back saying "Goodness. Are you okay to do that?"...
Ow. Ow OW mother!
My reply: "How do u mean? R u calling me a mental case?!..."
She didn't reply to that question. Interesting...
So, making doubly sure that I had taken my medication I psyched myself up to do this thing!
As it would happen, 30 minutes after baby K's mum left there was an explosion of poos all up her back. Dry-retching ensued but I managed the nappy change and complete change of clothes through an out-of-body experience. Those come in handy sometimes...
The rules were:
1. Luca's room for Luca and his toys
2. The lounge for Beni and baby K and their toys
I had to keep them seperate otherwise there would be cars/trucks/helicopters smashed over heads if cars/trucks/helicopters were touched by any baby fingers...

Mid morning the babies were bundled in the buggy and Luca on his Thomas bike ready for a walk in the sunshine, only to discover the lift was out of order. We live on the 4th floor in an apartment building.
Damn.
I spent about 5 minutes considering my options, which included lifting the buggy with the children in it down the 4 flights of stairs... I tried this option and could lift the buggy for about 1.6 seconds but that was it.
So back inside was the only other option.
Double Damn.
But thankfully day-time children's TV came to the rescue

Lunch time saw me spoon-feeding 2 babies with 2 yogurts and 2 spoons. Felt like super-mum. I could so manage twins!...
Amazingly enough, afternoon naps all happened at the same time!

Only Luca eventually decided not to sleep and was playing quietly with his cars until he got bored of that and decided to jump in Beni's cot instead so he, too, was now awake. Laughter and giggles resounded from their room while baby K slept like...well, a baby.

STATS:
3pm = Baby K's mum arrived for collection.
Nappy = clean
Clothes = clean
Bumps & Bruises = 0
High Fives to myself for doing such a great job = 1 big one
Chances of proving my mother wrong = Very High.
 

DAY 2
Whilst changing another morning poo of baby K I forgot about my porridge that I'd left cooking on the gas hob which ended up having it's ass severely burnt.
Gutted.
I was really looking forward to my yummy oats made with soy milk, chopped prunes, apricots, a dash of cinnamon and runny honey drizzled on top. My stomach was literally groaning for it. Very angry about the waste and the fact I was eventually going to have to scrub the pot.
With the lift now back in working order a visit to the Toy Library got us out of the house for the morning, babies in the buggy and Luca walking beside me holding my hand singing the Toy Library song I made up with the intention of {hopefully} teaching him to share:

"When we go to the Toy Li-i-i-i-i-i-i-bary
There's trucks and trains and cars and sand.
When we go to the Toy Li-i-i-i-i-i-i-bary
They're not Luca's toys they're everybody's toys!"

Afternoon naps? Baby K fell asleep on the way home from the Toy Library and didn't wake until after the boys had been watered and fed.
Luca didn't want to sleep {as per usual} and was getting Beni hyped up and giggling {as per usual}.
During this time baby K was feeling a bit fragile but didn't want to be held and was crying whenever her dummy fell out, so I eventually stopped picking it up and putting it back in for her. Instead I made myself a cup of coffee, stood in the kitchen and ate FOUR chocolate biscuits. By biscuit number 2 she had stopped crying.
Result.
Unfortunately that only lasted for about 2 minutes before there was more tears and so I caved and gave her the dummy again. Little button was just needing her mum. I didn't blame her.
I was needing my mum too.

STATS:
3:30pm = Baby K's mum arrived for collection.
Nappy = clean {only just changed it in time...}
Clothes = slightly grubby
Bumps & Bruises = 2
High Fives to myself for doing such a great job = 0
Chances of proving my mother wrong = Slim to none

Once again I was overcome by a strange craving for whiskey and a cigarette and am wondering whether my mother was right afterall...


DAY 3
Started the morning with threatening to tape Luca to the wall - he didn't think that was a good idea.
He was wanting me to play cars with him but I couldn't leave the little ones in the lounge by themselves.
Managed to snatch a couple of minutes here and there to race cars with him, but sure enough, whenever I did that one of the babies would fall over and bump their head.
Managed to snatch a couple of minutes here and there to go to the toilet, but sure enough, whenever I did that one of the babies would fall over and bump their head.
Managed to feed them their lunch at the same time then strapped the babies in the buggy, Luca on Thomas bike and got out into the sunshine for a 'Discovery' walk and quick playground visit before nap time.

Both the boys went down for a nap at the same time with no dramas while baby K remained awake. I was a bit annoyed about this because I would have loved some time to myself which I only get when the boys very rarely have their afternoon nap at the same time.
While I was hanging out the washing baby K looked directly at me and filled her nappies.
I could see what she was going to do and I was saying "Don't do it! Don't do it!"
But she did it. A big one.
I was wondering how long I could hold off from changing her nappy and that maybe her mum would arrive to collect her soon...
I eventually caved, took a deep breath and changed her nappy.
So here's the thing about little girls - I don't know how to go about cleaning all their bits 'down there'...
Faecal matter seems to get everywhere...

STATS:
3pm = Baby K's mum arrived for collection {5 minutes after I'd finished the pooey nappy change... damn}
Nappy = clean {just... but so should have waited that little bit longer}
Clothes = clean-ish
Bumps & Bruises = 1
High Fives to myself for doing such a great job = 1/2
Chances of proving my mother wrong = No chance. She was right. I'm a mental case.
But, now that I've thought about it, I do actually quite dig on children. 
{although I would never consider a job as a nanny}

Tamperings, Tendinitis and Tantrums

Picture this #1: 
A mother has her two children in a toy store situated in a mall. The youngest is sitting happily in the buggy, the older child, a toddler, has found a ride-on car to zoom around the toy store in.
The mother gives the toddler a 5 minute warning that it will soon be time to say goodbye to the toys.
A few minutes later the mother lets the toddler know that in 2 minutes it will be time to go. Then a 1 minute warning.
By this time the toddler had climbed out of the ride-on car and started looking at some toys he had parked up beside. Just before the mother was able to tell the toddler it was time to go, another little toddler spotted the car and started to climb in, which then caused a very big display of high and undesirable emotions to spill out of the toddler who had earlier been in the car, thus thinking it was his car.
An episode of much rolling around on the ground kicking and screaming then took place.
The mother very calmly and carefully moved the kicking toddler away from all precariously balanced displays while she copped a few good blows to the head and face from flailing arms and legs. She then tucked the Tantrum Toddler under her arm by his waist, grabbed the buggy with the very good, sweet and happy younger sibling in it and headed for the exit.
Once out in the mall the Tantrum Toddler soon settled down enough for the mother to put him down on the ground, hoping he would hold her hand.
No such luck.
Tantrum Toddler saw his chance and ran to an alcove directly across from the Toy Store entrance.
Mother saw what was happening, put the brakes on the buggy and dashed back as quickly as she could (although she was limping badly due to suspected Achilles Tendinitis on her left leg) to block the doorway to the Toy Store just as Tantrum Toddler was making a sprint towards it's entrance.
Not happy to be out-smarted, beaten to the mark by his limping mother and again denied access to the Toy Store, more screaming and kicking followed. To which, the mother just limped away leaving - to everyone's apparent horror - a screaming toddler lying on the floor of the mall.
She was quite appreciating the acoustics of the tiled mall, the way her Tantrum Toddler's screaming bounced all around as she limped along. She also knew he would eventually give up and follow her.
And he did.

Picture this #2:
A mother has her two children in the doctor's surgery, waiting for her appointment to see the doctor about her suspected Achilles Tendinitis. The youngest is sitting happily in the buggy, the older child, a toddler, has quickly grown bored of the toys provided at the surgery and is now wanting to explore. To his absolute frustration his mother prevents him from running down the hall and opening the various doors to the doctor's offices and, as a result of once more being denied from doing what he really wants to do, starts screaming and kicking while his mother man-handles him back to the waiting area.
With the toddler's screams still ringing high and true, her name is called so into the doctor's office they go.
Mid-way during the appointment the toddler decides to get up, open the door and run away.
The mother, who is not able to be very quick off the mark due to her suspected Achilles Tendinitis run-limps after the toddler (even though running is the worst thing possible for Achilles Tendinitis, but she doesn't have a choice) and manages to catch up to the toddler just as he is about to make his great escape out the door onto the London streets.
She was quite appreciating the acoustics of the hushed doctor's reception and waiting area, the way her Tantrum Toddler's screams broke the silence as she carried him back.
The mother was pretty sure the doctor had been looking back through her file in her absence and noting how she suffers from dirty ol' post-natal depression, as she was greeted with a very sympathetic look from the doctor when she entered the room again with Tantrum Toddler.
The mother was desperately thinking "Don't give me any sympathy please as I will totally break down and start pouring my heart out to you about how I can't do this! I don't know how to control my toddler! He's driving me craaaaazzzzzzyyyyyyyyy!!!"
And to her credit, the mother didn't break down in a quivering mess in the doctor's office.
Instead, the Tantrum Toddler was bribed with a treat to keep him quiet, the achilles pain was talked about, diagnosed and anti-inflammatory medication prescribed. A doctor's letter was written which means that medical insurance will pay for all physio required for this injury, meaning that the mother will hopefully still be able to run the marathon she has diligently been training for.
At the end of the appointment Tantrum Toddler surprised everyone by turning on his charm and saying "Thank you, goodbye" to the doctor.
Kids.
Who can understand how they tick?
"Not I" thought the mother as she headed for home craving whiskey and a cigarette, even though she doesn't drink whiskey or smoke cigarettes.

Picture this #3: 
The workings of a toddler who likes to pull everything apart.

You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have, for instance.

~Franklin P. Jones

Mormor & Scrumpy - this one's for you

I have very cute parents.
They live on the other side of the world to me, my husband and our 2 boys.
They have 5 children of their own so they are experts at dealing with strong-willed, determined, random (that would be Gretchen) children.
They wake up to a postcard-worthy view every morning in Mangakino, New Zealand.
Their grandchildren call them Mormor & Scrumpy (but to my brother's children mum becomes Farmor. It's a Danish thing, blame them).
I have the best parents in the world and I am very proud of them.
I miss them very very much on a daily basis.

Mum sent me a cute text this morning saying: "...We get VERY excited about reading your blog. Dad cuddles up and I read it aloud to him. HIghlight of our day..."

Awwwwwwwww. How cute is that?

So here you go Mormor & Scrumpy - you are about to get a 'No Frills' account of my day with YOUR grandchildren...

Beni woke twice in the night for a feed (?@!*%&!!?#?@%£!!!) so Austin let me have a bit of a sleep-in while he breakfasted the kids. But I woke to the noises of Luca protesting and Austin scolding because he'd just poo'd & wee'd in his undies. And it wasn't even 7:30am yet!
Needless to say my sleep-in was cut short...

Luca did the usual playing with his cars while I got ready for an appointment at the doctors.

I heard a wail from Luca's room so I rushed in to find Beni very upset.
"Why is Beni crying Luca?"
"Beni crying. A bit sore"
"WHY is Beni a bit sore? Did you hurt him?"
"Yes"
"WHAT did you do to Beni to make him cry?"
"Put finger in Beni's throat"

Oh Lord give me strength.
He gets this prayer from me on a regular basis.

Anyway, Beni had to have his immunisations today which were extremely overdue, but I couldn't face taking him in because he had to get THREE injections in his chunky-monkey thighs!
Then while we were waiting for my appointment with the Doctor I asked Luca if he needed to do wees? I just got his usual response "Don't want it".
Right. OK.
"Mamma will race you to do wees!"
So off he runs to the toilet (good work mamma!) and then while I'm struggling to undo his belt he pees his pants.
Neat.
Good thing I'm prepared and have an extra pair of shorts and undies for him. A quick change and then the Dr is ready for us.
She remarked how well I am looking and just when she was asking how the ol' PND was going Luca throws a MASSIVE tantrum.
So I'm saying to her "yeah everything's really great!" while my child is headbutting my groin.
His timing is brilliant.

That done, we played "I'm gonna get you!" all the way up the street to pick up a parcel that we missed delivery of at the beginning of the week. Beanbag beans. Very exciting.

Then on our way to Sainsbury's Luca has another tantrum.


(What is with your grandchild??!)

He literally lay down on the dirty London street and said "Ow ow ow owwww!" whenever I tried to get him back on his feet. Of course I got some accusing glances from passers-by, but hey, that's life with a toddler people!!

Then it was into the pharmacy in Boots. I don't know what it is about that place but as soon as Luca goes in there he starts screaming "Don't want it! Don't want it!" - as in, "I don't want to go in here". So I have a screaming child with me as I hand in my percription for PND medication and they dare to give me a 'knowing' look? I bite my tongue to keep from explaining to them that he's not normally like this, he's just tired and/or hungry...

So as a treat we had lunch in a cafe. Woah. I actually did the seemingly impossible and ate out with 2 children and actually enjoyed it!
I am pleased to report that it was a success. Luca ate a fresh pretzel, my fruit salad and the buttons off his gingerbread man while I fed Beni his pureed food.

And then a beautiful thing happened.
Both boys fell asleep at the same time which meant I was able to shop in peace and take as loooong as I liked. What a happy time that was and I shopped to my heart's content!

Once we were home again, pretty much as soon as I walked in the door both boys woke so we all played together in their room - Luca trying out his new mini basketball net that he got free with a Disney mag, all the time Beni just watching watching watching his super cool big brother.

Slam-dunk a ball

Slam-dunk some cars

Slam-dunk a fire truck

Carefully slam-dunk Scrumpy's tractor

Slam-dunk a truck and find it hilarious!

And then it was Beni's dinnertime - what a mission. That child has the strength of an ox already! Once he gets ahold of the spoon that's feeds him there's no letting go. And the result? Mess. But a very cute mess.

Immunisations... 2 in one leg and 1 in the other. Not a happy camper.

Luca rode his Thomas bike up and down the landing outside while I gave Beni a bath. He doesn't like to bath with Beni because Beni kicks too much and splashes the water in his eyes...

Then while I was getting Beni in his PJ's on the woolen rug, Luca decides to drive his Thomas bike into Beni's head.

Beni screams in pain.

"Luca, say sorry to Beni for driving your Thomas bike into his head".

"Don't want to"

Choose your battles. Choose your battles. Choose your battles...

I think I eventually gave up on this battle, but as I move away I hear Luca say gently to Beni, "So sorry Beni for driving Thomas bike into your head" and I hear a wee kiss being placed on Beni's head. Aww bless.

Shortly after this I was stirring our dinner in the slow cooker while holding Luca on my hip; Luca was asking for biscuits and I was saying no and so he starts hitting me so I tell him mamma is not for hitting and put him down. Then I feel his teeth sink in to my left buttock... 

The result? Time Out.

Only he refused to sit on the T.O. seat and so I would keep having to put him back on it etc etc etc. while trying to settle Beni down to sleep.

So I eventually said to him if he gets off the seat one more time he's going to bed without any dinner (*GASP*).

Unfortunately he gets off the seat one more time so he is now in bed without any dinner and I feel like the meanest mamma in the world! 

But I knew I couldn't back down on this one and hopefully he will remember and learn from this?...

And so that has been my day and evening. Austin is out at a stag do so I'm at home with the kids and a glass of rose.

As much as it has been a battle at times with Luca today, the three of us did have a good day together and there was lots of laughing, tickling, car races and cuddles as well as 2x poos and wees in Luca's undies... and therefore I now need to go and hang out some washing.

This weekend is a long weekend with Monday being a Bank Holiday - YES!! We all hang out for the weekends when Austin's able to spend the days with us. I hang out for his help with Time Outs and pooey nappies and undies. As you can see potty training is a huge success!... not really...

Although you are a long plane ride away from us Mormor & Scrumpy, you are never far from our thoughts.
We pray for you every night and thank God for you.
On a daily basis I wish you could just pop over for a cup of coffee and some playtime with your grandsons.
On a daily basis I feel sad that it's because of our decision to live in London that you can't just pop over for a cup of coffee and some playtime with your grandsons.
On a daily basis I need your advice of what to do in certain situations that arise with the boys, when I feel stuck and a little 'undone' cos I don't know how to handle it.
It sucks that you are not just around the corner or across the paddock so my children can run over to your place and you can feed them chocolate fish and give this mamma a little space to maybe have something as luxurious as an afternoon nap!
But thank you that you understand our need to be here, where we believe God wants us to be, even though it means you have said many joyful hello's and heartbreaking goodbye's to us over the past 8 years.

All I can say is God bless the person who invented skype! Luca gets so excited to see you and hear your voices, and even Beni's ears prick up and he looks around when he hears you talking.

And now this mamma will join her boys in the land of sweet dreams and yummy smelling pillows

We love you Mormor & Scrumpy. And don't you forget it!