That's just how it is today...

It's just been a bit of a crappy afternoon - enough for me to open the door to my husband when he got home and tell him "They are all yours for the next hour" and then take my computer and crochet into my room to sulk... So mature Brigitte.

I'm feeling like a terrible mother today - I have a baby 3/5th's engaged (!!) as confirmed by the midwife today, so I'm needing to be ready to welcome this little life any day now...... and yet my fuse is incredibly short with Luca and Beni. Poor little guys.

I've had zero tolerance for their noise and general boyish-ness and this makes me feel terrible for this other new life we are about to welcome when I just seem to be an intolerant, grumpy mother at the moment... Not cool. Not cool at all.

I have a herneated belly-button, this would explain the pain I'm in and the sensitivity in that area. Apparently this will go back to normal after birth, including other 'bits' on my body which seem to have protruded in pregnancy and are damn sore.

So I'm sore. I'm grumpy. I've been angry at my kids.

I don't like it that I'm sore and grumpy and have been angry at my kids.

I don't like what seems to be 'spilling out' of my heart and mouth all too easily. Grrrrrr.

I know I just need to be spending time in His presence and He will help me get everything back on track, help sort out all my shee-at that seems to be spewing forth.

My husband has just dropped a chocolate easter egg on the bed with the intention of cheering me up.
He's very sweet and knows what I need and when I need it.
Poor him that he was greeted at the door by a frazzled and grumpy wife today.

But that's just how it is today.

It's likely that tomorrow will be so much better, if not the complete opposite.

If any good has come out of today, it is the realisation that I just need more of God in me.

I need His refreshment, peace and strength on a daily basis, so I can be the best mamma to these little people He has blessed me with.

Sure there will be bad days, but I want to handle them better than I have today and I can't do that in my own strength, that's a proven fact.

Now I need to go and kiss these little guys goodnight and tell them I love them. I hope they realise just how much I actually do.

There's nothing like a good bump on the head to get the creative juices flowing

On Saturday night I was rudely awoken by this mother-of-all picture frames falling on my head.

It hurt. Real bad.
Gave me (and my husband when I yelped) a hell of a fright.

And so I have decided it is time for this picture frame and it's fabric art to go.
I was never fully happy with the result on this anyway. Trying to introduce a bit of pink and femininity (is that a word?) into our bedroom didn't really work.

So over the past few days I've been pondering redecorating our bedroom and what I would do. I am so partial to the good ol' orange and chocolate brown colour combo (must be because I'm a 70's child? I'll blame it on that) and I just happened to have some fabric in these colours lying around begging to be made into a quilt/throw for our bed.

I'll also be making some new cushion covers - that's on tomorrow's agenda.

Then there's the question of wall art - something light in weight - to replace the mahoosive frame that was above our bed. Off to the art supply shop I went today and got a couple of canvases, paints and brushes to see what I could create myself. This was quite an exciting undertaking for me as it's been a good few years since I picked up a paint brush or felt inspired to paint.

Don't ask me what it is. Nothing in particular, although the semi-circle does remind me of the pregnant belly I'm currently displaying. Maybe I shouldn't paint when I'm pregnant....?

Anyhoo, I hopefully will be able to show the end result of our bedroom makeover in the next couple of days. That's if it turns out ok...!!

It's not just our bedroom that's being affected by my sudden urge to make things better - the kitchen, lounge, bathroom and toilet have all had a deep-cleanse and all clutter has been removed.
Maybe this is actually me 'nesting' in preparation for baby arriving soon rather than inspiration given from a donk on the noggin...

Whatever it is, I'm liking it!

In preparation

In preparation for summer I got the boys some new sunglasses. £1 each. It would've been rude not to...
There was much excitement and coolness oozed as they tried out their new fashion accessory for Summer 2011.

Rock on my son.

:::

In preparation for giving birth in 2 months I have been wanting to do some 'personal maintenance' of the waxing variety.

This is something I used to religiously do every 4 weeks - when I used to be able to afford the luxury of booking myself in for a waxing session.
But not anymore.
Ever since we have gone down to one income - which was around the time I became pregnant with numero tre - it has been DIY maintenance in the nether regions. The result is never quite the same. And then the baby bump gets in the way blah blah blah. Awkward. And very very painful during pregnancy. Makes my toes curl just thinking about it.
But as my Italian waxing lady would remind me, "During-a labour you will-a be in-a morra pain-a".
God bless her for she speaks the truth!

And so on Monday I attempted it once more, buying a waxing kit that promised all sorts of smooth and hair-free happiness. I believed this was it - the DIY wax I have been looking for all this time. The One that would save our household £30 every 4 weeks.

Although it started off promisingly enough I ended up in a very "sticky situation" where I could not actually pull the wax off.
Starting to panic as I envisaged having to get Austin to come and help or worse still having to call for an ambulance, and knowing that the grocery delivery was due any minute I applied lots of baby oil {which seemed to work, although very slowly} and then took a hot shower and managed to emerge relatively wax-free {and in time for the grocery delivery}.
Although I can't say the same for our bathroom floor and bathtub from which I will be scraping off the "...sensual mango and peach scented wax" for many more days yet.

Upon emerging from the bathroom I informed my husband that "Next time I am just going to PAY THE £30!!"
To which he replied, "It didn't go well then?"
Mutter mutter grumble grumble MEN! grumble mutter HAVE NO IDEA! mutter grumble...

And so, friends, the moral of the story: NEVER sacrifice your bikini wax appointments when trying to save money thinking you can easily do it yourself. The fact is you can't. Just pay the £30 ok?

Good. Just needed to 'off-load'. Thanks for listening.

In sickness and in health - it's still a good life.

After a wonderfully busy and sociable weekend we are all feeling a bit sick and tired.

I spent the majority of Valentines Day in bed.

I would just like to take this moment to say that my husband is so wonderful. He got the boys up, made them and me breakfast which he brought to me in bed with a coffee. He did the dishes, washing, baked some bread, made dinner while working from home(!) and I slept the day away {and all night as well}!!

I've got conjunctivitis in one eye and pregnancy pains in certain areas that are causing me grief.
We have a 3 year old child who is causing us grief.
Beni has teething troubles and a nappy rash which are causing him grief.

Austin got food poisoning from some left-over chicken so spent all last night vomitting - from both ends...
And I have a bad case of homesickness for my family in NZ.

But although we are struck down with sickness, exhaustion and homesickness, I am still feeling full and thankful. We have a roof over our heads, food in the cupboards {including a chicken in the fridge which obviously needs to be thrown out...}, happy and healthy children, a great marriage, and wonderful friends around us who care - really care. You know, the ones who will go the extra mile or 5 for you as would you for them.

And the absolute cherry on top is knowing, without a doubt, that we have a God who loves us and is caring and providing for us. In that fact alone I feel safe, secure, protected and looked after. I cannot fathom having it any other way.

 

Luca is at school and Austin and Beni are asleep on the couch so I might just take this opportunity to have another wee lie down. Why not huh?

And then I'll get on with the dishes, hoovering, washing, toilet cleaning, lunch, dinner and maybe even a little bit of sewing!

Gems Of The Week

Precious, Priceless, Pockets of Happiness during my week.

I was supposed to have posted this last night but decided to watch a movie in bed with my husband instead. 
Unfortunately it wasn't the most romantic choice for a movie - The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
Have read the books and loved them and am pleased I knew what was going to happen in the movie otherwise I wouldn't have lasted watching it!
So there's some advice for you - in this case, read the book first and then watch the movie, otherwise you might find it a bit hard to stomach.
Or maybe that's just because I'm pregnant and therefore extra sensitive to all things...?

Anyhoo, time for the good stuff - here's the "Gems" from my week.

:: On Wednesday we had our 20 week scan for Baby #3 and OH MY GOODNESS it was a very special moment in our week. 
We ended up having our two boys with us as it was a 'first-of-the-morning' appointment. I thought it was going to end in carnage having to bring our children along but it was actually an incredibly special time. 
Luca stood beside me during the scan chatting away about what was happening and asking questions while Beni was on Austin's knee pointing at the screen (with his middle finger of course) saying "Bubba! Bubba!" How does he know that?? Clever wee chap.
And once again baby #3 has a cute-as-a-cute-thing profile with a little button nose. We caught it sucking it's thumb. Awwwwww!
I tell you what, there is just as much excitement about baby #3 as there was for baby number 1 and 2. The novelty definitely doesn't wear off.

No we didn't find out the sex - we love the surprise at the end and it helps me get through labour when I think "I'm finally going to meet this little one and find out what it is!"


:: I finally admitted defeat and realised it was time to give Luca a haircut, good and proper.

Big Boy Luca has emerged from under all his hair and I'd forgotten how big his eyes are! So of course he's milking the 'Puppy-Eyed' look while I'm vulnerable...

:: Loving very muchly watching these pudgey little hands discover and conquer new things.

:: I've starting piecing together my first ever quilt and I'm pretty excited {and proud} about it! It features the Italian Alphabet and I've got good feelings it's actually going to look quite cool! {as in, I will put it on the bunk bed in the boys room instead of stowing it away in the cupboard...}

:: Can't get enough, can't get enough no of these boys of ours.

Every day they frustrate and amaze me.
Every day they cause me to feel both anger and happiness.
Every day I'm sure my love for them grows deeper as I watch them grow and interact with each other and love each other.
Every day I am amazed and incredibly thankful they are mine.

Hope you're having a happy weekend! X

Gems Of The Week

Precious, Priceless, Pockets of Happiness during my week.

I really like this part - taking the time to look back on the good in my week.
So often there are moments that happen and I think "Oh that's really awesome/sweet/cool/cute/lovely", but then that moment quickly gets swallowed up by life and dirty nappies...

I'm recognising my need to STOP and really take in those moments when they happen, and don't let them slip by.
A big reason for me doing this blog is to record them so I don't forget!

So here are my "Gems" this week:

:: Beni is walking and he's so proud of himself. And Luca loves to be sitting across from him with his arms wide open, ready for the embrace at the end of the 5-step journey.

 :: Luca's fond caresses of my baby bump.

It delights me that he is so interested and 'aware' of the "baby in Mamma's tummy". As I have been starting to look more pregnant and now have an obvious 'bump', he has taken to patting the bump and just today asked if he could sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to baby.
As you can imagine my heart completely melted right then and there.

:: This week Austin has been working from home which has been marvellous on many accounts, especially because it means I can take afternoon naps, loving this!
And it also means I don't have to be the only one changing the pooey nappies...

:: January 5th saw Austin and I celebrate our 9th Wedding Anniversary!
My husband is so wonderful. He's an amazing dad, this is obvious by the way our boys just adore him.
He's my best friend and I feel like the luckiest woman alive to be married to him!

:: I am loving the special one-on-one time I have in the mornings with Beni-Boo now that Luca's back at school.
Everything is funny for him at the moment and he is such a delightful little guy. So full of life with a cheeky little sparkle in his eye.

 

I hope you are able to take some time to recognise and be thankful for the Gems in your week also.

Have a Happy Weekend! X

New Year's Eve, an Ambulance, A&E and a letter

It was New Year's Eve.
It was supposed to be a fun "Boy's Day Out" where Austin took the two boys on a Big Adventure for the day.
It ended up with an ambulance ride to A&E.

Austin and the boys were in a cafe and Beni managed to fall off a couch and hit his head on an aluminium window ledge on the way down.
Although there wasn't much blood the area immediately swelled and a big dent formed where his brow had hit the ledge.
It obviously looked quite bad so the cafe staff called an ambulance.
Within 5 minutes Beni had calmed down in Austin's arms.
Within 5 minutes the ambulance had arrived (very impressive!)
Within 30 seconds of the ambulance staff arriving Beni had charmed them all with his smiles and 'middle-finger' pointing and Luca had introduced himself "I'm Luca TJ Bokser" and told them who his teacher was and all his friends at school.

Although Beni seemed happy enough upon the arrival of the ambulance staff to the cafe, because he is a baby with trauma to the head they needed to take him to the hospital to check for signs of concussion.
So off they went in the ambulance - I'm sure you can imagine Luca's excitement - and Beni did some more charming of the nurses and doctors.
One of the checks was for signs of recognition so, the nurse took Beni and started walking away from Austin, hoping to induce a separation anxiety in Beni, but to no effect. Austin had to explain that Beni has always been more than happy to go to anyone and walking away with him won't work...

Fortunately the cut wasn't deep enough to need stitches or "glueing" as they called it (??) so they were sent home with an instruction book on signs to watch for in children after a head injury.

And where was I during all this drama?
At home, knitting, relaxing, that sort of thing, blissfully unaware.
It wasn't until they were in the hospital waiting room that Austin decided to call me....! He knew I'd freak out if he'd called me any earlier and he's probably right.

So brave little Beni-Boo is now sporting a big bump and cut on his head but is still smiling. Bless the dear wee guy.

It was a bit of a dumb thing to happen on the last day of 2010 but just made us even more eager to say goodbye to the year.

:::

Dear Twenty-Ten,
You have been a bit of a crappy year for us, which is disappointing.
We started out with such high hopes but you let us down.
Not happy that your year was the year of the dreadful post-natal depression and all that entails.
That was a real bummer.

But...
There was lots of good stuff too, let's not forget the good stuff!

We were treated to a holiday with our families in New Zealand, that was cool. Actually, that was THE BEST!!

We got to go to the South of France

Italy

 and Germany.

Those were super-cool times with super-cool friends.

There were many very precious moments shared between our two boys.

Many special moments shared between parent and child

There was the safe arrival of niece number 2 - WAHOO!! A bonnie wee lass she is.

Two days before I turned another year older I was surprised to find out I was pregnant with number 3. Now THAT was the best birthday present EVER!! Although I was a little shocked and did the whole nervous laughter thing at first, we think this was a most fabulous gift to be given to us during 2010.

There was a birthday for a three year old

and a birthday for a one year old.

There were summer music festivals in Hyde Park - entertainment for the whole family!

But most importantly, this year was spent together as a family.

I now feel I need to apologise to you, 2010. I may have been hasty in saying this year was "crappy", when in actual fact, there were so many great times and memories made!
It is so easy to let the negative things blind oneself from the positive and for that, I apologise.

By looking back briefly on your year of twenty ten, I am now confident to say, upon entering 2011, that there will be many many good times to be had with family and friends and happy memories made.

So Twenty Ten, I thank you for the memories and bid thee a fond farewell.

Twenty-Eleven...I'M A-COMIN' T' GETCHEW!!

Gems of the week

Precious, Priceless, Pockets of Happiness during my week.

Or should I say, Gems of the last few weeks...? It's been a good few weeks since I last listed my 'Gems of the Week' but that doesn't mean I haven't been noticing them, appreciating them and soaking them up!

I'm quickly writing this after making 3 different batches of Christmas Cookies for our neighbours.
I've still got a couple of gifts to finish before Christmas Day - but that's okay, I've still got 2 days...!
This whole 'Handmade Christmas' thang is great and incredibly satisfying, but also incredibly time-consuming...

:::

~ A large cardboard box that packaged a delivery became the source of much entertainment and laughter for a week plus some. Who needs numerous and expensive toys when your child is ever so happy playing with a cardboard box?

~ My Beni-Boo is now standing and has taken his first steps! He's very proud of himself and adores the praise we give him when he shows off his new tricks.

~ I have discovered a Sarah McLachlan album called 'Wintersong' that I am now completely hooked on. Christmas and Winter songs (but mainly Christmas) that are so hauntingly beautiful they will make you want to curl up by the fire with a glass of red and your knitting. (If you're a knitter...).
This song of 'Silent Night' is what I've been playing when it's the boy's nap time. The first time I tried this tactic the boys were giggling at each other across their room and generally not being very sleepy, so I put this song on and literally within 1 minute they had settled down and were drifting off to sleep. Genius.


~ I'm once again loving and completely fascinated by Luca's attention to detail. Every car gets parked with meticulous care, all facing the same direction.

~ Much to my husband's disgust I've been enjoying a Cheeky Cheeseburger from Mickey D's of late. I blame it on pregnancy cravings. I don't normally enjoy a cheeky cheeseburger because I'm not actually allowed to set foot in McD's. These are Austin's "rules". Anti-globalisation and all that.
But woah. Oh my goodness. I've forgotten how good they taste!...

~ Luca has been leaving me flabbergasted with some of the things he has been saying.
The other day we were sitting in the lounge and Beni was by the Christmas tree trying to look like he wasn't touching it and I noticed a look of fondness cross Luca's face as he watched his brother and then he says "Beni is so cute and soft".
And I couldn't agree more. Beni is cute and soft.
Then just yesterday he brings out the phrase that beats all other phrases by a mile. The completely impulsive and out-of-the-blue "I love you Mamma" followed by a kiss.
Well, I could have danced for joy! Those four words were such a sweet sound to hear and pulled every string of my heart.
I don't need anything for Christmas - I've just been given a most wonderful gift and I couldn't ask for anything more right now!

Gems of the Week

Precious, Priceless, Pockets of Happiness during my week.

How vital it is to sit down at the end of the week and think, really think, about all the good stuff that has taken place in the past 7 days. Things that could quite easily be looked over, taken for granted. Things that are enjoyed at the time and yet are easily forgotten in the busy-ness.
I know it's good for me to focus on those pockets of happiness, to record them, to be able to share them, to be able to read back on them.
It once again brings to the foreground of my mind the fact that I am so very blessed.

:::

~ We had our scan for Bambino Numero Tre on Wednesday and I am pleased to report that all is well and good! It's little heart was happily and healthily pumping away, everything is formed as it should be. 

It is perfect.
Even though we have been through this all before with the other pregnancies it is still an absolutely incredible thing to see your little one for the first time on the screen. The reality and the emotions kick in. I am in love already.

~ This little guy is showing us his cheeky personality more every day. He is happy, content and loves his older brother with every fibre of his being.

~ During the week I watched the Cheryl Cole interview with Piers Morgan and absolutely bawled my face off. It felt good. I now highly rate her (SISTERS: before you mock me, you need to watch this and form your own opinion).

~ Although I have been suffering from bad morning sickness this week (why all of a sudden more intense?) it has made me have to stop, sit down, breathe. And so I have been getting lots of knitting done. This is a good thing because not only do I have LOTS of knitting projects to complete before Christmas, but it also makes me chill out because it is such a relaxing craft. If your stress-levels are high, take up knitting.

~ Luca has been into everything this week and, as a result, totally doing my head in. He has boundless energy - the type I have been so lacking in this week... But at night when he wants to come and snuggle in bed with me all is forgotten (except for my feelings of regret at having lost my temper with him 86 times that day...). 

And forgive me, but I still haven't been able to let go of my feelings of extreme fury at Luca for doing a MASSIVE poo in the bath last night. When you are suffering from morning sickness the very last thing you want to be doing is scooping turds out of the bath plughole. Take my word for it.

And yet, when he wanted to go to sleep in our bed last night because Papa was away, I couldn't help but be so very grateful for this little man. Thankful for each breathy little sigh. Thankful for his body warmth. Thankful that he is mine.

~ I just LOVE snuggling my little guys in bed (and the big guy of course!). In the mornings both the boys end up in our bed (if they're not there already) and then Austin and Luca get up to make breakfast, Luca brings Beni's bottle through to him, I snuggle up to the wee Beni-Boo while he skulls back his milk, his eyes half-closed and dreamy and then we have more cuddles and tickles. By then the coffee's ready and the day is ready for us.

I love love love this morning routine. It's totally the best way to start the day.

Today after we had dropped Luca off at school Beni and I came home and immediately went back to bed for more sleep. I don't normally do this but I let Beni sleep in bed with me during our nap and it was just DEVINE! I didn't sleep for a whole lot of our nap time, I spent a lot of it just staring at my wee Boo while my heart melted and I fell deeper in love with him. I didn't think that was possible.

Check out that one mean tooth he has on the bottom while he has FIVE teeth up top!

~ I recently came across this T-Mobile commercial which I thought you'd all enjoy. I bet you can't help but smile as you watch this.

Have a great weekend everyone!